Fanatical Desperado

2007-02-05T07:12:00.000-08:00

The Taiwan trip was really extremely powerful. It impacted me so deeply, and i probably won't forget the people there ever.

The people there are so warm. They struck me as being just so real and have absolutely no qualms about simply being their true self. They constantly encourage others, and provide company and comfort to whoever they feel needs it, which is probably most of the time=D. Contrary to many Singaporeans teens in general, who seem to take delight in putting others down for the sake of appearing 'cool'.

Mr Tan, one of the teachers who followed us on the trip told us the purpose of the trip during lesson today. He said that these people were so open and spontaneous with their views, never fearing to express their views on any matter. Others would then politely agree or disagree, and follow up with their own viewpoints.

Singaporean teens, at least those in my school, love to put down others. Example:-
On the bus journey back today, i was telling my 'friends' that i had to make a 45 minute presentation on the trip to the whole level during an assembly period. They started laughing, fine. Then one of them said, 'Oh Guy A, B and C can make the presentation by themselves lah, you ah, you can just click the mouse lah. HA. Ha. Ha. You SING when you make speeches! You'll talk and talk and suddenly your tone will go up! Then the same thing happens again! You can just click the mouse lah HAHAHA.'

And then i said, 'Well during public speeches, aren't you supposed to vary your tone and everything, I mean you wouldn't speak normally during a speech like you would to your friends right?'

And to that, i merely got more laughter.

Then i started thinking, if this really is the culture in Singapore, where one is constantly being put down be it for fun or for real, then obviously he wouldn't readily be willing to share his views.

Maybe I'm just ranting and lamenting because I've seen such great standards in the people of Dwen An, and because I so miss the people there. Or maybe I could actually be right.

P.S. Of course many Singaporean teens aren't like that, maybe it's just how I view the situation in my school. And thanks to all who wished me on my birthday, the Dwen An-ers sang the birthday song for me 4 times in total, and planned a surprise coupled with a birthday cake at the end of the day. I love them so much.=X

2006-12-14T20:02:00.000-08:00

WELCOME BACK VAL!!
U horrible gurl u haven given me chocs even though you've been back for more than a WEEK!

Damn the stupid hols is almost over and I haven't started on any of my homework! Not to mention I'm going off to Malaysia today and won't be back till after christmas...well that kinda leaves urm, almost no time to do my homwork=/.

A bunch of us went to wild wild wet on wednesday, and though the number of rides available there are seriously pathetic, it was really quite fun! Sat the slide up which i had been to chicken to try the last time, this time with Wini! It was damn SHIOK! The whole float practically flew up when we were sliding down and we felt like we were flying! Well we would seriously have gone again if we didn have to wait so horribly long for our turn. And i didn't get a tan at all! The sun shone nice and bright for a bit, then rain clouds blew over and it rained for the rest of the day=x.

We were starving after that and went to Ikea to eat. Haah I had TWENTY MEATBALLS! Wini and I are such pigs! heh so much for wini's big diet plan=p.

Bridge is damn fun! Went to wini's house after having fried mars bars at city hall >.<. Ddamn sinful! Hah VAl and i taught wini and Jev howda play....and now we're all pretty much addicted to it. Wini got pretty good and it and when we went to her house yesterday (again) she owned! Hah Jevon got tricked yet AGAIN by val, and poor wini was like loss for words at his gullibility! Well after all he does have a very soft spot for val=D.

Oh well I'm going off to Malaysia today. Yay my first cuzzin's getting married! hah damn exciting! Oh well I'm off so don't miss me too much=D

I'm EMOing......HAH JOKING see everyone when i come back=)

2006-11-30T07:32:00.000-08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JIAMIN!!

YOU'RE SMART, NICE, BRILLIANT AND EVERYTHING GREAT!

Hah hope you had fun today, cuz i sure did=)

2006-11-20T23:33:00.000-08:00

People don't change, but viewpoints do.

Ignorance is bliss, but knowledge is power.

Knowledge changes viewpoints, and it has made me so disappointed in you.

It's so hard to befriend someone with such different personalities, it's just so goddamn hard.

But what can I do? Wallow and lament in private like I always do? Yeah I will. What else can I do?

2006-11-19T06:32:00.000-08:00

Okay interesting things that happened in the past few days.

1) Happy belated birthday Jevon! Even though you probably won't read this lawls. Hope you like your bdae present. Ahem and the cake=D in your face=D=D.

2) I baked delicious cookies! Serious. Not the pre-packed mix kinda cookies. I mean cookies from scratch with all those flour and stuff! Hahah okay maybe not just me but i had a part in it=D. We ingeniously modified it from the recipe given from the internet, and it was like, damn delicious heh.

3) I own at Fifa Street soccer on ps2! Hah okay maybe considering i got thrashed most parts of the time and the stupid ass ball was flying everywhere but into the net, but at least i won ONE game=).

4) Hah monopoly was actually fun. Although it took shit long to finish the game.

5) Went malaysia with my family today. Bought like three boxes of cereal and a tonne of bread. But got my much needed exercise at the gym and at the pool.

6) Rock climbing damn super fun! Climb for three hours straight. Went to the place with my 4 other cousins, and Ivan. Lols but i was climbing with my bro most of the time. And though he owned my ass upside down, it's still damn fun!

Jiamin!

Don't be sad okay? Don't care about what others say about you. Everyone has their own imperfections, but that's what makes us human. People constantly try to put down others around them, to try and raise their shaky self-esteem. So never let yourself get affected by these people, for it only helps them to achieve their aim. You're perfect just the way you are=). And don't worry about your parents. All parents do that to their kids. I mean i just wanna kill them sometimes so bad=/. Andand. Always know that no matter what, you'll have friends standing close behind you, supporting you whenever you feel like your gonna fall. They'll hold you strong and dear, never letting you go=).

That's the sheer power of friendship.

So cheers! Be happy!=)

2006-11-17T05:10:00.000-08:00

Oh yeah. Yesterday was probably one of the BEST days of the entire holidays so far=). No doubt the whole Mary Lim Mrs Chay thing was a total flop - not only did we not get our delicious free lunch, we hadda settle for the disgusting school canteen food. Moreover our supposed proper lunch at chevrons didn't happen cuz the food court was under renovations and the only thing on sale was Indian food and snacks. Obviously we settled for the latter hahah. But the stupid banana cake was so slimy and urgh. So much for delicious lunch huh.

Well bowling was total ownage=D hah okay everything was pure tyco i admit but ohwell it was damn fun=). Somehow there were a crap load of functions going on in the bowling alley that day and the announcer was perpetually irritating us all the time with his broken english and lame humour. But who cares i'm not saying the bunch of us were all that quiet either=D. Arcade and pool after bowling was total crap and a total waste of money. Hah mayybe cuz i got owned=/ Heh but seriously their arcade is really pathetic. The games are old and limited. Ohhwell. Dun worry Jiamin! It's just a game!=)

Well soon after that everyone started scooting off to their various appointments, and the only people left...yet again, was val wini jev jane and myself. We initially wanted to crash over at Jane's house and order pizza. But we eventually decided to dine in at pizza hut instead cuz we hadn't done so in a long time=D. Well what can i say about dinner. It was totally spanking delicious=D. We had like three slices of pizza apiece, and we ate until we were all contented and full.

Well guess what. After dinner, we ended up at Jane's house again.=/ We played the game of life, hah which for boring dreadful boardgames, turned out pretty fun! Well albeit the fact that i ended up either last or next to last in every round that i played heh. But who cares it was fun.
Wini's mum suddenly called at 11.30 and demanded that she get home immediately for some wierd reason. I had wanted to get a lift home but eventually stayed cuz the rest asked me to. We left at around midnight and i had to walk home all alone=/. Then wini started to msg me and asked me to drop by her place for a while.

Yeah so we talked for about half an hour. Well actually she was ranting most of the time cuz she was pretty vexed and all. But it was nice. Hadn't talked to her so earnestly before but i hope i'd made her feel better.

and i finally reached home at around 12.45. Almost 14 hours straight outside. But it was so damn fun=)

Heya!
Hah yesterday was such great fun.
Thanks for being such great friends yall!
Jm dun worry about your bowling it was all in the name of fun!
Hah you rock!=)

2006-11-15T08:26:00.000-08:00

I'm so desperate to get out. It's only when you get so desperate for companionship, and realise that there's no one that you can ask to accompany do you realise how little friends you really do have huh.

Wanted to go to the gym today. My regular gymming friends all couldn't go for several reasons. One had to work. One was too damn tired, not to mention his mother specifically told him that we couldn't go over too often. One wanted to, but didn't in the end because of the second person. Well of course i could have gone by myself. But where's the fun in that? You end up all alone again.

Of course just returning from chalet yesterday their weariness is understood. But cumon guys you went home yesterday afternoon. It's been a day and a night.

Can't start work until next week. Well that was what i was told last week. But because of my idiot ass irritatingly selfish brother, it's been pushed backed again. And that spells boredom for the rest of the week. Some people are just contented staying at home and gaming all day long. That life is so damn loserish. In fact i've been told by these kinda people that i should be just like that. That i'm just some wild ass longing to go out all day long. Maybe that's true. But it's way better than sitting my ass back home and getting fat like yourself ain't it? Oh i forgot. My mother doesn't allow me to bring friends home too often because she's so damn selfish eh? We're just using your gym damnit. It's not like you have to pay for it or something.

Okay i'm sounding all resentful and whiny. Well try staying home and stoning for the whole day. Should i count my friends with my fingers and toes? Cause i probably can. In fact, one hand is probably enough to count those who shares the same interests as myself.

ARgh i just need to escape from my cage. Tomorrow'll probably be better.

Hey.
I missed you today.
Let's have fun tml=)
I'm so excited.

2006-11-14T03:54:00.000-08:00

This holiday has been all of the most dreaded boredom. Albeit the fact that I spend most of my time outside, I just feel so damn empty.

Just came home from squash chalet today. It was probably one of the most boring chalets that I've been to in my entire life. The stupid teachers insisted we stay within the premises of the chalet only because we were held accountable by the teachers and the school. We weren't allowed to go anywhere except some shops in downtown east near the chalets. Water activities were strictly prohibited so wild wild wet was out. Escape somehow does not open on weekdays even though the school holidays has already started. So basically, we had absolutely nothing to do for the whole chalet. From 2 nights, we decided to cut it short after spending a night there. But I saw Wincy at the 2C chalet. She's hotter than ever. =/ I didn't have the guts to go talk to her. Argh.

My stupid internet finally got repaired today thanks goodness.

Hey you.
I'm sorry I used to be such a humongous jerk.
I'm really at loss of what exactly to say, but thank you.
That meant so much.
Love ya too=)

2006-11-06T22:14:00.000-08:00

Ahh finally. Holidays have finally begun. It's really kinda wierd actually. I mean during the school term, we keep yearning for school to be over and holidays to start. But once it really does, you don't want it anymore. Maybe it's only I myself that feel this way, but holidays just seem so dreary and boring. I kept wanting to organise things to do with people before the holidays started, but everyone seems so reluctant to decide. So i guess this is just gonna be another long, boring and wasted holiday.

Things around me are starting to get quite uncomfortable. Friends seem to dispute with each other all the time and it's hard not to get stuck in between. And when you do get stuck, it's so damn hard to appease both sides. Just look at Ivan and Mingzhe. -.-" But the more serious thing is going on between Gabriel and GY. I tried talking to GY, but no matter how hard to tried to offer him solutions to deal with this sticky situation, he still wants to go ahead with his own way of dealing with things. And no matter how I see it, the way he's dealing with it currently is never going to find him the real culprit. Moreoever, it's going to strain his own relationships with certain people. But well, I've tried and I failed, so what more is there to do?

Yesterday was probably one of the most typical days during a holiday. In the morning, I had to usher for the Sec 4 graduation ceremony which took place in Ngee Ann poly simply because there wasn't an auditorium in our school. I must have been moronically retarded to volunteer for this stupid event. I had to wake up bright and early at 6.15am on a SCHOOL HOLIDAY to get my ass over to Commonwealth MRT station by 7.30. Then we took a cab to Kent Vale carpark where the parents were supposed to park. Our job was simply to usher the parents over to the big, bright buses right in the centre of the carparks, which I'm so very sure the parents are blind and would not be able to notice them if not for us, which would take them to Ngee Ann poly. We arrive there around 7.45am and sat at random places around the carpark for about half an hour before we finally the shadows of the very first parent! The stupid thing was that very few parents turned up at the carpark because it was quite hard to find (I mean even our taxi driver lost his way). So we boarded the very last bus to Ngee Ann and reached there at around 9.30. And then our teacher dismissed us and told us we could do anything until 12, when we had to usher the parents back to the big bright buses.

So we went to have breakfast at the nearby canteen. After we ate, we simply did not know what to do, and there was still another 2 hours before we had to report back to the auditorium. In the end, we just sat at some corner in the auditorium listening to music and looking like a couple of morons. Suddenly, a flood of students walked past. Then they pointed at us and laughed before walking up the stairs -.-". And whenever teachers walked past us to go to the toilet, they would ask us, "what are the two of you doing here?!" So we had to endure all that crap for about an hour before a KIND teacher FINALLY told us, that there were lots of empty seats up in the auditorium! WOW! I bet everyone just envys my interesting morning huh.

After taking food from the VIP counter meant for teachers=D I went home and slept. Then went out with Ivan and Jiamin in the evening. At first we had wanted to watch the Covenant because it looked so damn cool. But when we reached there, covenant was full=/. So in the end we had to settle for the Grudge 2. Hah but i must admit, it really wasn't bad. I mean it was one of the best horrors that I've watched so far. Though the story line was damn stupid, because in the end everyone just died, the special effects were great. It was scary enough to make me jump=x, a couple of times =X.

After the movie we went for dinner at food republic. That place is really gross. The whole setting is that of some ancient chinese street stalls, just air-conditioned with water dripping from it half the time. And the prices were probably ten thousand times more than ancient chinese streets. So after our pathetically small hokkien mee, we went down to search for more food. We were walking and walking, and suddenly, we realised that we were in harbourfront centre! Wierd huh. So i didn get to eat my snack and went home feeling only half full=(.

See, typical holi-day, where one either eats, watches a movie, go LAN, or gym =x. But who cares, at least the companionship was nice=).

Ahh i feel so ashamed. Jiamin gave a much more interesting account of our night out. And after reading it, i realised HOW STUPID OUR RIVER-SEA ARGUMENT WAS!! HAHAHA like the quarrels of some six-year olds. Heh taken from her blog :

IVAN: HEY this is not spore river lah! its the sea!!

BRY: NONO its the singapore river!!

IVAN: HUH really? NONO its the sea!!

BRY: but doesnt the river lead to the sea?

Hah that was one heck of a night.

2006-10-21T20:25:00.000-07:00

Heh exams are over! Kinda wierd cuz all of a sudden there's nothing to do at all. Exams killed me. Ohh i'm gonna die in a week's time when i get back my results, so i'd better enjoy all i can before that.

Fullhouse is damn nice! Seriously! Well actually the whole series was a lil boring at times cuz everything took place within that house and they kept fighting and all. But the ending was damn good and that probably made all the difference. Ahh the girl is so chio. It's seriously a damn nice cast. Theres a cute girl, a chio model-like girl, a cool guy and a society-deemed perfect guy. Hrm i thought i was mad when i finished it in three nights. But tanyanliang said "i'm watching korean drama now. Watched 8 episodes of full house yesterday!" Hah there's people out there crazier than me sia.

Woohoo i love the basketball game at the arcade! Muahaha. The very first time i played, my score was 27 and 37-.-". And my lowest ever was like 17=x. But yesterday played it with a squash fren and man do i own. 332!!!! HAH damn fun lah. I think the whole bunch of us played like 20 games of that thing in total.

Ack now i'm at lost of what to do.

-thinkwhatyouwantidungiveadamn-

2006-10-07T22:23:00.000-07:00

ARgh I think i'm going crazy with the prospects of CTs. It's probably the first time this whole year that i've well and truly mugged for an exam, and i just feel kinda lost. Well maybe i'm just not cut out for this shit. And having a brother whose just finished his exams and doing all sorta shit at home doesn't help. Cuz of him, i've rewatched the whole season of my korean show, like what 16 hours straight in two days. And i'm starting to feel all emo and distracted again. Maybe i shoulda just stuck to my normal exam routines of last minute mugging. But then again, after a whole year slacking off, mugging kinda feels refreshing. Then again, i might be turning wierd. ARgh i'm feeling so mixed up right now. Lost and emo sure dun make a good combi.

K i'm talking wierd today.

2006-10-02T08:12:00.000-07:00

Ack i feel so damn slack. I was supposed to prepare for my stupid chinese oral speech for tomorrow. In the end, i just stared at my computer screen listening to music for more than 2 hours. AND IT'S NOT LIKE MY CHINESE ORAL CAN MAKE IT AT ALL! Ahh well Mingzhe was nice enough to tell me roughly what to say for tomorrow. Hope I can bring out the slightly cheena-er accent thats been hiding behind this wierd alien-like Chinese that i speak currently.

CT IS LESS THAN TWO WEEKS AWAY! AND I HAVEN EVEN STARTED STUDYING! Shiet lah I'd better start soon and stop procrastinating if I wanna pass >.<

2006-10-01T03:40:00.000-07:00

Oh i just love to run. Unlike almost all other kinds of sports, running doesn't pressure one to perform. It's just pure willpower and mental strength to place that next foot in front and move towards your goal. Anyone and everyone can run. And when you run, everything suddenly seems so clear. You're drowned within fatigue and utmost concentration, disallowing any negativity from clouding your mind. And it helps you to keep fit!

Shiet there's seriously something wrong with me. I took this blood test with a new toy my grandpa just bought yesterday. A normal person's blood glucose level is around 4-6. And mine was freaking 9! I just pray hard that my stupid sweet blood is this sweet because of that gigantic mango pudding, three packets of yeo's drink and BK's taro pie i had yesterday. =x

YAY! There's this game in the arcade where you just shoot hoops for points. It's actually kinda fun, just that the first time i played it my stupid score was like 37 and 27 -.-". I mean my scores added together wasn't even enough to match up to Ivan's one play. Andand Andand, I played a SECOND time yesterday! Well obviously with much reluctance. So i just shot hoop after hoop. And at the end, i looked up and i was like !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TWO HUNDRED AND TWO!! 202! HAAH so happy=) okayy I decided maybe i like it after all=D

2006-09-25T06:46:00.000-07:00

Okay the last week have been pretty okay. I haven't had much time or energy to think about the unhealthy thoughts that has plagued my mind since the start of the holidays. That's cause i've been so obsessed with exercise recently. Last week alone, I had training on Monday, went jogging on Tues and Wed, had training on Thursday, went jogging on Friday, basketballed for more than 2 hours followed by gymming on Saturday, and playing bball again on Sunday!=D=D So i'd prolly be too lazy to update anymore so, ta ppl!

2006-09-23T03:30:00.000-07:00

Oww im aching and i totally have no energy=x

More than 2 hours of basketball followed by the usual ten sets of weights at gym.

But it feels good=D

2006-09-22T05:53:00.000-07:00

A friend suddenly asked me yesterday ,"Nah are you an only child?" Well i guess i was pretty shocked at that and replied that i wasn't. Then i asked him why he thought so. He said i had that very lonely and sad kind of persona, especially when he looked into my eyes.

Hrm it's just so difficult to please people sometimes. As much as i try to be happy and all, i can't possibly keep up with it all day long. But i was kinda touched when he said that if i needed someone to talk to he would always be there.=)

There are basically two types of people in this world. Those who live to be pleased, and those who live to please. I guess i just belong to the second category, as most people would. Everyone yearns acceptance, and in our opinion that is the best way to achieve that goal. But in the process it often requires one to make many personal sacrifices, resulting in unhappiness within oneself. At least i do.

Well my dad came back from China after three weeks yesterday. I guess i should feel happy and all now that he's back. But i feel kinda mixed. I guess now that he's back i won't be able to enjoy that boundless freedom that i savoured so much. It's only made me want to move out and go around on my own all the more.

Recently i've just been so obsessed with exercise. Be it gymming or just taking a solitary jog at night. As much as people all abhor jogging so much, i find it oddly refreshing. During the run itself, you're so focused on every step and every breath that your mind barely has the capacity to think of anything else. It's like some temporary high despite the bodily weariness and all. I'm not some hardcore exercise and fitness freak. It's just my way of handling and escaping problems.

2006-09-20T06:49:00.000-07:00

I think i'm the typical kind of person who will eventually turn to drugs at some point in time. I keep having to face one addiction after another, unable to quench it until i find something else to replace and thus, continues this vicious cycle. At one point in my life i was harbouring so much unhealthy thoughts, and gaming effectively helped me to solve that problem. But after that gaming addiction drastically affected my relationship with my family. Argh i wish for once i can just have a peaceful and carefree mind without a single thought troubling me. But then i'd have to be dead.

2006-09-19T01:37:00.000-07:00

In our lives we always yearn for just a single person whom we can always fall back on. A person whom we can relate to and share our troubles and joy with. I guess i was pretty lucky for at different times in my life where everything seemed to be going wrong, an angel would always appear and salvage me, tending and caring for me.
Well point is, I feel so lucky for having such great people around me as my friends.
Especially someone like my darling sister! I couldn't thank God more for a person like you=) I LOVE YA! hahas thanks for everything mei!!=D

2006-09-18T08:05:00.000-07:00

Many a time we don't realise it, but words cut. They cut deep. We may make a seemingly harmless pass all in the name of fun, but we never know how hurtful it can get. I guess i do tend to take things too seriously, and it's just not in my current nature to even attempt a retaliation. I used to be some rebellious punk, but the past two years has tamed me. And now i guess i'm just some meek and soft guy. Deep inside i've had such an urge just to throw a punch at some person who's just pissed me off so bad, but in the end i never am able to perform the deed. I keep telling myself, draw the line, if not they wouldn't know where to stop. But when i harbor that thought in my mind, somehow it's the day when everyone decides to be nice. Ahh well. I should just take things lightly. If i don't take anything seriously, then perhaps everything will start to appear in a different light.

I'm feeling slightly more at peace after going to church yesterday, and i realise i do need a faith. Even though i don't have some active spiritual belief, there's comfort in knowing that perhaps there may be some greater force who loves you regardless of all your flaws. Moreoever i do enjoy worship=) Someone please come to church with me in Expo!! I sure do miss it!

2006-09-17T06:23:00.000-07:00

A friend told me yesterday. If you keep thinking that you're depressed, all the more will you be depressed. And obviously no one likes a sad person. So from today, i shall stop wallowing in sadness!

I just realised that the girl is on my mind all the time. It's just impossible to be sad around her. Maybe that's when i finally made the decision to try and be as happy as i can. I haven't much negative thoughts since i last spoke to her. Hrm. And its wayy better than any temporary high i've ever experienced=)

2006-09-16T08:53:00.000-07:00

Hrm what is this that i'm feeling. Everytime i talk to her i feel so happy. She makes me luff with her seemingly excited state whenever she's talking. I find the way she whines so cute. But she doesn't make me think about her all day. She just makes me happy. Very happy. Siigh

2006-09-16T07:53:00.000-07:00

Crying. It's the best form of escape. It drowns everything in that temporary moment and lets you escape reality.

I keep telling myself. Cry. Cry when you feel sad. Cry when you feel so alone in this world. Cry when things get so bad you feel so powerless. Just cry. But i just can't. I haven't done so almost three years. As much as i want to so bad, tears just won't flow out of my eyes. The closest that i came to was when things got so bad at home. I just felt so distant from everyone in my family, thinking that they didn't care about me. Where home no longer provided a psychological anchor that i needed for my weak inner self. My mum just couldn't take it anymore. She made all of us sit down and tried talking to us, and she said something that punched me right in the face. She said "The two of you are all i have, i have nothing else. And now i'm feeling like i'm losing the two of you..." and with that she started crying. Tears filled my eyes, but i just couldn't cry. I felt terrible beyond words, but i couldn't cry. Sometimes i wonder whats with this metal heart of mine. If it's not in my nature to feel sad, then why do i feel depressed all the time? With the death of a sec three in my school, i sometimes wonder if i would be able to cry with the loss of a loved one. My friends say they wouldn't. But i wonder if i even can.

Recently i just have such an urge to buy things. Just bought a pair of jeans, shoes and shorts in the past week. And there are so many other things that i yearn to get. Things that i know i normally wouldn't wear at all. Maybe that's just my way of trying to change myself. Into something that i see as perfection. Into something that i know i myself will never be able to become.

2006-09-15T05:40:00.000-07:00

Well my friends say that i always appear very sad. They kept asking me why i felt so depressed and stuff and frankly, i don't really know. Sometimes i just feel as if i've got this case of depression. I always feel so damn inferior when compared to anyone. I guess that's pretty much why i'm always so sad. My feelings of self-worth are next to nil, and as a result my self-esteem has been just killed. I liked to tink of myself positively, but every single day the moment i got home, i withdraw into a shell, thinking of myself as such a fake hypocrite for not being able to show my true feelings. It doesn't help at all when my school is so filled with ego-busters who think they are the only ones who matter in this world and try to take down others to boost this high self-worth that they have. Well to some extent i do admire their confidence and self-esteem, for without that they would never dream of being so bold and outgoing. I try to hide my inferiority, but the shell is slowly starting to crack. I guess that was why they kept asking what happened to me, for i wasn't the least like that in the past three terms and something must have happened during the holidays that made me become like that. Sometimes i just wish that i could end my life so that i need not endure anymore mental torment that my own unhealthy thoughts are putting myself into. Well what the hell am i talking about, basking in self lament. Go screw Bryan.

Ahh my lovely samsoon ended last night. I've just been so hooked onto the show for the past week, perpetually thinking about it non-stop all day. I have no idea why the show just drowns me in it. But i guess it's because i really admire the people inside. I mean its just such a realistic fairy tale in some sorts. That minus all that cover that one constantly tries to put up, the human soul is so fragile. Hrm ok i'm starting to think very depressingly.

Be happy Bryan, at least try...

2006-08-27T02:05:00.000-07:00

I just feel so at loss right now. Had a fight with my dad yesterday over my frustration at me not being able to play the guitar well. Made some stupid comment which my father took personally and now, he just decided to stop the class altogether. Had this talk with my mother both today and yesterday, and also with a friend, to find out what was wrong with me. For i was feeling like i was distancing myself from everyone, both friends and family. Hadn't spoken to anybody in my family until yesterday night. Home had been such a alienated and hostile place for me, no longer giving me the sense of warmth and love as i had always felt previously in my life. Even around my friends i would experience dramatic mood swings, from happily talking away to suddenly becoming all quiet and moody and sad when i hear them say certain things. My friend said that i took things in life just too seriously, and constantly felt as if the world had something against me. But it was all just my being to sensitive, with an omni-present sense of resentment against everything that happened to me. Perhaps thats why i always feel so alone and so sad and so superficial. My mum told me that i spoke my thoughts. Whenever i felt unhappy with anything i would make a painful comment that cut right across. I hadn't realised it until she said it, and it made me think of my attitude towards authority. Being that i had always felt myself one above authority, challenging them at every chance i got. Perhaps this was why i was never popular among teachers, and why my form teacher had called me out to speak to her personally because my attitude towards her had gotten just so bad. It guess the problem all sparked out with me gaming. The first two years of secondary school life felt so toturous for me because i felt so outcasted from everyone. I neither fit within the gaming group nor the soccer group, which was all the my class was made of. As a result i started gaming at the end of secondary two and just couldn't stop till today. One more week and my dad will be flying off to china for almost a month. If i cant humble myself to.....then i guess im just such a cad of a son...

2006-08-16T04:22:00.000-07:00

I need to escape.

I feel like a dog kept caged within a bird's house, without any space to think or breathe.

The cold four walls repelling at the very sight of me.

It's at times like this when I realise, I need school. I need my friends.

They feel like home in contrast to my own.

My soul yearns to cry.

My mind has long left this place.

I just feel like dying.

2006-08-15T08:22:00.000-07:00

Get out of my life.

Stop trying to control my life.

Stop impressing upon me how everything belongs to you.

Stop looking at me with that perpetual negative face of yours.

Stop judging me.

Stop telling me what I should do.

Stop telling me who I should be.

Stop telling me how I should live my life.

Just let me be me.

2006-08-01T06:28:00.000-07:00

Im in a right state of depression now man.

I feel so damn inferior to others.

I wanna just hide so that none of my flaws will show.

For there are just so many that they cloud my thoughts every moment of the day.

I wish so bad to be someone else.

But I know that will never happen.

An inferior being will always remain inferior.

And nothing will ever change that...

2006-07-17T08:26:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody!

Woohoo! I just found out that Jessica Alba is THE most desirable and HOTTEST woman of 2006! Ahh well I tink that is so much more credible than..Steph Song?! Ahh shes hot, just not as hot as Alba=)

Coincidentally our Eng teacher is also called AlbaR. They're damn cheat lah at the start of the year they wrote Noorizan Alba. Then we were like ooooh Jessica Alba's bloodline. Might be just as hot.....and turn out shes the exact opposite -_-. They purposely ommitted the R to mislead us. How cheap!

2006-07-12T05:58:00.000-07:00

God i wish Kok Leong would just stop calling me. He just doesn't know when to stop. He practically calls every few hours, numeral times a day. My Dad is starting to think that something is wrong with him. Today he was so pissed he questioned of he was gay. I dunno wad to do lah. Tell him to stop calling, try to act pissed whenever he calls, he just doesn't know how to take a hint. But then again, he's so personal and pretty rude that many a times he pisses me off real bad. He was like that before the long holidays, and daoing him during the hols worked in stopping him from calling me. But now he's at it all over again. haii

2006-07-12T00:18:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody!

Woohoo! ITALY WON! Heh went to Kok's house to watch the finals! On the whole the match was pretty average. First half and penalty was good, but half time and extra time was a total drab. Okay i admit i am a soccer buff so many other ppl may feel differently.

Wanted to go swimming at like 4am after the match finished but it was freaking raining...-_-. Already so cold and coupled with the rain, swimming would guaruntee us a cold. So... we didn. Ended playing Maple in the end! Woots I'm now a respectable level 32! And healing is so darn fun. Too bad i gotta stop real soon if not my parents will be so pissed.

Ok! I'm off to Maple! Hi feedala!

2006-07-01T07:01:00.000-07:00

I'm feeling so damn depressed. I seem to be living in some perpetual pessimism I just can't seem to rid. There's this odd feeling of guilt during some parts of the day, and unexplained anger and resentment for the rest of the day.

Home seldom provides any comfort anymore. I seem to pick at the smallest of things to fight with my dad. I spoke barely a few sentences to him in the past few days. Perhaps the emotional effects of puberty is finally hitting on me. I feel the crucial need for rebellion. Coupled with his probably andropause, I just wanna escape.

School's probably the only place i can seek refuge now. How ironic.

Well, just to squeeze out whatever optimism left within me, i shall stop thinking about depressing things.

Went out for supper last night after the first 90 mins of the Germany vs Argentina. It twas about 1am. Walked with my brother to JE central to try and find some food cuz we were oddly hungry. But stupidly, every single coffeeshop was closed. MacDonalds was jam packed. So in the end we took a cab to the JE swimming complex to eat. All they had was a pathetically small TV, so we just sat down far from the crowd and starting to eat our porridge and dishes. Got home at about 2am and fell asleep in a snoot. Shit Argentina lost. Now I'm gonna have to buy my brother a wallet.

Woke up early this morning to go Malaysia. It was considerably enjoyable. Had a whole day free from my father. Played some sports, gymmed and caught a movie. But the highlight of the day was probably my shopping spree! Nike was having a sale, so we thought we'd go in and have a look. My bro and I ended up buying about 500 malaysian dollars worth of clothes=x. Oh well at least now I finally have some decent clothes in my wardrobe.

2006-06-30T06:53:00.000-07:00

Parents.

Love to thing that they're always right.

It's so damn irritating.

You can never drill anything inside their head once they've decided upon it.

So what if I game.

You speak as if my results are rock bottom.

The fact it.

They're fucking NOT.

So what if I dropped 0.04 in my GPA.

Does that warrant games as a total no-no?

I gave you my reasons.

You refuse to listen to any of it.

God gave us 2 ears for a reason.

Maybe that's why he only gave u one brain.

Now i finally understand the meaning of -Stereotyping is the product of an unthinking mind-

In this case, it probably isn't only an unthinking mind.

It's a worthless brain.

2006-06-29T05:42:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody!

Lols even though i didn't even dare to take a peek at it at home, i spent hours pouring over it in school! Heh and no Daryl i wun take that 30 mins to wank=x.

OK! THE HOTTEST BABE OF 2006 IS.........STEPH SONG! WOOOTZ!
Dun think that she's some no name bitch. SHE'S NOT! She is sooo hot! She was 2004's hottest babe but somehow she couldn't even sqeeze herself into the list last year..then suddenly! She's the hottest babe..again! And for those people who seriously dunno who she is (though i think that's kinda loser=x) she acted in one of the heartlanders season as some reporter.

Second hottest babe is Linda Liao! She's like sooo cute and sooo chio! Again I think many people out there dunno who she is. SHE'S THE BABE WHO ACTED IN 'CHASE' WITH UTT LAST YEAR! Although she wasn in a bikini like Steph Song and is snow white unlike Steph who so sexily tanned, she's still hot!

Third hottest is Scarlett Johansson (OK! I seriously dunno how to spell her name). She acted in the Island last year. SHE'S THE HOTTEST BABE IN THE WORLD! Out of the dozens of FHM's all over the world, she is the overall hottest babe! Wootz woootz.

Fourth is Ann Kok.....K this is seriously screwed up. I have no idea why she is ranked so high. No doubt she's chio sometimes, no siree for me. Not gonna tok much bout her.

AHH! MY DEAR FIONA XIE! SHE WAS LAST YEARS HOTTEST BABE...BUT SHE DROPPED TO NO.7 THIS YEAR=( Oh well at least she's still in the top ten.

Jessica Simpsons was ranked number 6 before Fiona Xie (pretty understandable=D) She's hott.

Jessica Alba was ranked tenth!
Angelina Jolie's eleventh!
DENISE KELLER'S 16TH!!

Other's in the list includes May and Choy =/, Jamie Yeo and Jamie Teo, etc etc.

Lols I had to sell my FHM to my classmate cause i couldn't bring it home for nuts=x. Oh well next target - US edition of FHM top 100 hot babes!!=D

2006-06-27T05:16:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody!

Woohoo! I BOUGHT MY VERY FIRST FHM!=D Well how co-incidental. It appears FHM's featuring the top 100 hot babes of 2006!! xD

Pooo okay fine maybe i didn directly buy it but technically i own it....though i dun dare to even open it up at home =x.

Fiona xie was the hottest of all hot babes last year! Wonder who it'll be this year though. Maybe I'll take a teeenie lil peak in the toilet later...and maybe do more. Urm but then I'll have to camp in the toilet for like half an hour. Thats pretty....stupid.

Yeah but what the heck.

2006-06-20T22:24:00.000-07:00

HEY EVERYBODY!

Hols are finally coming to and end! Wooo. This holiday was pretty drab. I probably accomplished nothing that i set out to do before the holidays =x. Let's see, no kayaking, no rock climbing, no swimming, no cycling, no nothing. Blergh wad a wasted month.

But i've turned into a movie freak! In this two months alone, i've probably watched like most of all the movies in the theatres. MI3, X3, over the hedge, DVC, Poseidon, Just my luck, she's the man, RV, and some others i cant rmb. Then i begged my mum to subscribe to starmovies...and guess what. More movies! I'm such an idiot. Gave up gaming cuz of my results, and turned into a regular couch potato.

Went to Kuantan, Malaysia last week. Had to drive for like 9 hours before we finaly reached?! Well...we were lost like half the time and my dad was probably gonna explode and ta-da! We finally found the stupid hotel. And for all that, i have to admit. The place was a total bore! There was absolutely nothing to do there! Albeit the hotel was really very nice, with lotsa facilities to make up for the total lack of stuff to do there. Beach was horrid. And...i met my friend there=x. Who incidentally was staying for the exact same period that we were! Oh wow. Mm..the best part of the trip was probably the bread pudding served on the first morning. Ohh yea.

Arrived back in Singapore late Tuesday night. And for the very first time after a holiday, i finally understood the meaning of 'home sweet home!'. Went in to my dad's club in Malaysia the next day so that my dad could catch a game of golf...and also for my to pon my physical training! There was another total drab >.<. Table tennis court was booked by this uncle who looked so darn profesional. He set up this net on the opposite side of the table and placed this ball shooter at the centre of the net. Then he jsut stood on the other side and whacked all the balls that the thing shot out. Like wadde... So my mom and i resorted to going to the gym, where i tried to do some weight training. It was then i realised how weak i actually am =x. It's like ten lifts of a mere 4kg and i probably lost the use of my arm for the whole week. Then as i was walking towards the movie theatre to watch flightplan, guess what. I met another friend! My squash seniorS in fact. We like stoned for sometime before exchanging greeting and running in opposite directions of each other. But dinner was gooood! Ate at this chinese restaurant and finished off with a nice dessert. And to think for tea break i just had a huge slice of apple pie with ice cream =x.

I'm a total dessert junkie. I just had Swensen's sticky chewy chocolate sundae yesterday and it was total mmmmm! Yum Yum! We were supposed to do our project and cuz we couldn't find anywhere where to study in National Library, we went to Swensen's! The sundae was sooo heavenly! It's like a gigantic scoop of ice-cream seated of a bed of chocolate sauce, with half the crystal bowl coated with hot chocolate fudge, topped with whipped cream and a cherry dipped in chocolate. WAH! This holiday is a fattening holiday. I'm going back to school as Bryan the Fattie =x.

2006-05-20T02:02:00.000-07:00

Wah today I had quite the ball. Woke up bright and early on a saturday morning at like 5.55am. -.-" Then went to Macritchie! Met Joel Gabe and Ivan, then started walking towards the tree top trail. When we saw the board we were like wahh 5km. I think they're real fakers cuz the trail towards the tree top walk couldn't have been 5km. We had to like walk around half the whole Macritchie before we finally reached it but man was it a sight! We sprayed some water towards the bottom and wah it took so long =x. lols

Crazily enough after walking that distance to the treetop walk, we decided to continue on to Bukit Timah! The stupid road was in such bad condition probably due to the rain that they were cussing at me the whole time. And if that wasn't enough...I caused us to get lost =D We walk walk all the way until we almost reached the visitor centre, then i said -eh! i tink we should go here!- And taik was like -oh no no! I dun have a good feeling about this. My tail's tingling!- LOL K that was probably the only good thing that came out of 'over the hedge'. Ya so in the end we walked like halfway around the whole Bukit Timah before we saw a blardy map...and that was when i died. Lols we were all pretty exhausted and hungry people make angry people, angry at me that is =x. So we walked and walked and somehow managed to exit at around Salvation Army there. Woot like finally.

Yay then we had a good lunch of Bak Kut Teh and i had two bowls of dessert at Ivins! After walking more than 3 hours and probably anywhere around 15km, i loaded up more calories than i lost =x. So much for exercise.

2006-05-19T03:00:00.000-07:00

What the shit lar. Blardy wasted so much time today trying to watch Da Vinci Code. First went to J8, but the immediately refused at the counter. Went all the way to Lido, and we actually got the tickets! Then when the time came for us to go in, the guy insisted we produce our IC...which we didn have -.-" Luckily they gave us a refund and we went to watch 'Over the Hedge'. ..........Don't bother watching it. It's so damn boring. Wasted so much time and money today. But this won't stop Bryan. Yes he's gonna catch it sooner or later. =D

2006-05-18T04:22:00.000-07:00

Hey! Haven't written for a long time now.

Anyway, English Dept is damn screwed up. They undercalculated my marks by like 7 marks. So when i first got my results, i was like -FUCK! 59!- And that robbed me of many many nights of sleep. But oh well, at least now everythings ok (jumped two grades=D).

Feel so dumb. The moment I got back my results, i went home to delete Dota, thinking that was the cause of everything. But now...now no more Dota =( But oh well gaming is really a waste of time trust me. It's like, u look back at your hols and u think -Hey! Why don't i remember enjoying my hols at all?!- Then u think, -Ohh, I spent the whole freaking Nov playing -.-"-

Yay. Listed out some stuff that I'm gonna do during the June hols.
1)Go Rock Climbing
2)Go Kayaking
3)Go beach
4)Go Ministry of Sound
5)Go hike at Bukit Timah to Macritchie
6)Go clubbing
7)Go zoo

Crap, I dun get why Da Vinci Code should be rated as NC16. U let the book hit the stores and score as the No.1 Bestseller, ensuring millions of people get to know and read the book, then they just have to rate it as NC16. Does it make a difference if we loan the VCD and DVD from people older than 16 and watch it anyway even if we aren't at that age? And being a modern island of the 21st Century, how do they expect our society to really open up if they keep trying to control the media? Moreover, the internet allows us to access to all sorts of material regardless of what age we are, the more restrictions imposed, the more the desire to break through that barrier. It just doesn't make any sense. Woot k but who cares. I'm gonna catch the movie if it's the last thing i do.

2005-12-27T09:09:00.000-08:00

YAY SCH'S STARTING SOON! IM SOOOO EXCITED U CANT BELIEVE IT.

Yea rite bryan the freak.

2005-11-29T20:34:00.000-08:00

kk....lucky me for gettin tagged lols=p

five wierd things about me then.
1. I'm jealous at the guy in 'sky high' cuz he got to make out with two gurls.
2. I like gurls older than me.
3. I actually like reading?!
4. I forget that i received an sms 2 seconds after the phone rings.
5. I think chinese is the cooolest subject ever! (yea rite)

k i dunno wad to put. refer to jm's blog for details englishtotallyrox.blogspot.com for rules. see im lazy to put them in myself.

and...e five ppl i choose are erm...i'll see lols. see my next post...when it comes haha!

2005-11-21T18:48:00.000-08:00

http://pub.tv2.no/multimedia/na/archive/00195/Harry_Potter_og_ild_195854s.jpg">

EMMA WATSONS RAWWKS!

2005-10-29T13:03:00.000-07:00

I had a wierd dream yesterday. Someone had this blowdart kinda thing, which is like super fast and extremely penetrating, which he used to pierce a hole in my ear....and i realised he pierced the wrong hole! And just as i was going to ask him to pierce another one in my other ear, i woke up. Blats.

So i was thinking of what i wanted to achieve in myself.
1. Long super gothic hair.
2. Be like 60kg.
3. Pierce holes in 2 parts of my body.
4. Get chao-ta.

Hrm those are pretty achievable. Gawd but i wished i was shorter. Heard from people that tall people die faster. But that one can't do anything le. So maybe i'll stop eating, to prevent myself from growing anymore.

I've got a new crush!

Lols she's my teacher=p The one behind i mean, she's 25, and her damn cute sister is like 17=D Can make it lah. Dun ask me why i go for older gurls. But they're just so....wooooh! GahGahGAH!

2005-10-20T23:41:00.000-07:00

I love being alone. Being alone means i dun have to put up with the standards of this world. I wun have to worry about how my actions will bring upon negative judgements and criticism from others. Wun have to be who i am not. Once i lock the doors behind me, i feel liberated, happy.

Being alone brings about a time of appreciation. Being in the outside world really takes its toll on your mind and body. You have to create a fake outer shell just to protect yourself. But once your alone, that can all just dissolve away. All the criticisms and judgements made on you, bashing you up from the inside, you can just start the process of healing. This can bring about a higher self esteem. S'why i love being alone.

Lols kk putting aside all that crap, WOAH! I feel so free! CT's finished yesterday, finally. All others schools finished almost a week ago, and SJI's holiday's have even started, and i was like 'hell my CT aint even over'. lols I think i'm going crazy, now that CT's are over, i'm feeling bored. Mapling for three hours during the CT period, i find i can't even do that now. So i hit the book rental store, and borrow this book called 'Eragon'. Heard it's pretty good from my friends, so i decided to give it a shot. But it's shit long, and i gotta return it in 2 months if not i dun get back my money.

Let's see, its the 20th october. School breaks in just over 2 weeks. I hope that never comes, cuz when it does, it usually flies. But then the prospects of being closer to 16 yrs old gets better. Lols being 16 rox. U get to watch NC16 movies, and also have sex. Lols horrneyy me. I heard that in RJC, more than 50% of students are un-virgins. =D And gurls there are pretty hot and horny. Lol. My birthday is in early Feb, which means start of sec 4. Call me. ahahahaa

Watched 'INTO THE BLUE'. WOOOOOT. ALBA IS HOT HOT HOTT. And so is that other female star. The show was pretty boring, but alba makes up for that, wayy does. http://www.jessica-alba.com/ Check her out guys=D

2005-09-12T22:05:00.000-07:00

Well I never knew any movie that could actually touch my heart to deep it made me wanna cry. Well, i'll found it=D. Yeapz as some of you should know, it's called 'A Walk To Remember'. It's kinda the high school seniors' love and stuff. But it actually has a deeper meaning. It's not only about love, it covers a whole different array of problems faced by high school kids, from image to mockery etc. Won't go into the details of the show, but yea it was so powerful i watched it three times over within three days of when i first saw it. And i couldn't stop thinking of it up to a week after that. Yeap its that powerful. Hrm..never knew i was sucha sucker for high school love stories, but this has a much deeper meaning to it. So...i decided to buy the novel that it was adapted from! It's written by Nicolas Sparks, a pretty famous writer from what i've gathered. Lols some of my brother's friend are jsut crazy over him. Well if you've heard about the show 'the Notebook', this should ring a bell. So i just went crazy and went to Times to grab the books. But...no stock! Have to wait lor. Asked them to order thinking i could use my vouchers given by Fuhua. Then guess what?I lost my wallet while trying to board the bus to training today. For stupid reasons, yea i did. So jumped off the bus at the next station, and ran all the way back knowing there was no hope. How dumb. And i left my bag with my fellow squashers back on the bus lols. Didn't feel like going to training after that, and was too broke to go home. Stuck. How? No choice lor, called them asked them to leave my bag in my coach's car=p, then went to staff room, and called my form teachers to borrow money. How pathetic! Lols but no choice lahh. Then go home lor, and play MS=p. Lols a good ending to a bad day! Ahaah.

Wah very happy today ah! Got back some of my marks, and they didn't turn out too bad. And i got to pon training, so it wasn't really that bad a day after all. Woot, positive attitude does wonders! -quoted Lah Lah=p

2005-08-20T13:17:00.000-07:00

You scored as Slacker. Your a Slacker.

Rocker/Emo

60%

Slacker

60%

Trendy

55%

Skater/Punk

50%

Goth

45%

Chav/Townie

45%

Nerd/Geek

40%

Hippy

30%

Rivethead/Cyberpunk

30%

Metalhead

30%

What Common Stereotype/Group Do You Fit Into?
created with QuizFarm.com

2005-08-19T16:32:00.000-07:00

Just feeling so down and disappointed...

I thought you were my friend, but apparently it was just wishful thinking on my part. Friends would never get hurting words out of their mouth. I admit, i am flawed. Very flawed if you say so. But, after all i was born this way, and i am this way, can i do anything to change how i look? If it really is that hurting jsut to look at me, then i suggest u stay far away from me. Even if it means having to lose a 'friend', i think at this stage i wouldn't mind. I'm sorry if i hurled that abuse at you, but after all how could u expect me to control my anger after harping on my flaws time and time again? Moreover with each time it gets worse and worse. Maybe you jsut don't realise how hurting you are, or maybe you are doing it purposely in a move to spite me and everything, but i hope to believe that you aren't that kind of person. This is a cut throat world, but i don't wish to be that way. But if people treat me with no respect at all whatsoever, and then i cannot give them anything.

Friends, tsk....sometimes i jsut want to lock myself away from this world, but i know it's impossible. In fact in the working world when i grow up it will be even worse. If i can't adapt to it now what makes me think i can in the future? I don't know...

2005-08-14T23:03:00.000-07:00

DISCLAIMER!
*All contents in this post must be viewed with discretion for it was written by an extremely OLD and CRAZY woman, MAAAAA. Lol im mad.

_____________________________________________
THIS IS BRYAN NAH CHUNG WEI’S MAAAA SPEAKING!

mwahahaha. this is fun. ultra crap.

first and foremost, bryan is naughty. whyy? cos he didn’t attend church yesterday and is feeling sleepy now after cycling with his mummy.

ok. this seriously doesn’t make sense.
but it’s NOT meant to make sense, ANYWAY. =D

secondly, bryan is a squashed genius donkey. YAY. self-explanatory.

thirdly, bryan is nothing BUT lazy. SEE? he doesn’t update his blog, and gets an old lady to do it. exploitation of extremely good genes is a crime.

ok. that’s way too random.
who cares? it’s BRYAN’s blog. nyah nyah nyah.

finally, I have nothing else to say. but love bryan although he is all that is mentioned. he is still –ahem- nice. (oh give me a second. I need to puke.)

alright. I don’t know what am I saying.
saya sangat penat. HEH.

bryan is a mega MAT.

2005-08-10T10:42:00.000-07:00

Well I'm just feeling a little disappointed and pissed at the same time. Cuz someone close to me actually told me that she didn't expect me to excel in my studies cuz i was too lazy or something. That hurt, alot. I'm gonna prove her wrong, even if it means that i'm gonna turn into a mugger. Watch out.

Wooo Friday was awesome. We went to catch Encore by the RGS choir. I must say, RGS choir are really quite good (of course with the exception of Val) LOL. So started of the evening very well, showering and got ready before 6. Ain't that a miracle! It's like normally by the time i prepare and everything it's already very late. Yay i'm changing for the better! Lols. So i reached JEC at like 6.11pm, called Jevon, he said he was gonna come only at 6.30, and called GL, and she was still far away! Wahh finally see what it's like to have to keep waiting for ppl. It's irritating. So yea sorry guys. Well by the time everyone arrived, it was 6.50pm. ( When i first saw JM, i was like "Ur hair!" Lols She has straight hair now! Wahahz after two years, she not only looks better, she speaks so well too...i wan! Lols ) We were like ahh better hurry if not will be late. And from previous concerts i was pretty worried that we would get locked out until the second interval. So i kept pressing on and on. Wahh but we still had to get a flower for val (her request, how ego) Lols and ended up getting a huge sunflower. Which was meant all as a joke. Lols. Well we had planned to take the MRT to dover then take a taxi there, but in the end we dropped off at Clementi. BAD IDEA! It was like everyone was camping at 'good' spots trying to catch a cabby. And it was like peak hour, with five of us! So unless some nice uncle takes us all we had to get 2 cabs, and it was already so hard getting even one! Crap so by the time we FINALLY arrived there, we had already missed the first song, which was quite miraculous cuz we expected to miss more. And they actually let us in, so nice. But we couldn bring our huge sunflower in so we had to hide it under the table. Lols but then again even if someone did find it who in the right mind would go take sucha devil?

Well Encore was pretty good. Hated the choir singing part except for the one song which had only NaNa as its lyrics. (Woah! A tribute to me!) Lols Then came the various basking groups and the sectionals. VAL IS SO STIFF! Lols she being an ex dancer from pri sch, i expected her to like move more! And she laggs too lols ppl clap finish she still clap=p. And the basking groups ohmygawd. So pro lo! They were singing a medley of songs but i think the best singers of all was this rather fat girl. Mygawd she can sing! She was the most natural among all of them. Hrm so fat does have its benefits. Lols I can take comfort in that. Jkjk.

Well the musical was the best part of it. It was about this Prince Charming finding for his true love among all the different candidates. The theme was pretty cliched but the way they presented it was great. Mainly the whole thing was spiced up by the two 'talk show' comperes. They're darn pro! Woah so funny and everything. And so was the Prince Charming. 'He' was very confident, not stage shy, thus whenever there was a minor glitch here and there he made use of it and turned it into something humorous. Hrm wished I was like that too. Ariel is so chio! My gawd she's soo cuute. When she acted as Ariel she had to dance and sing and stuff. And the way she moved, so open, so cute! Wahahaz. And so was the sleeping beauty! She was very pretty too! Hrm wished i could be the only boy studying in RGS. That's not fair! LKY's wife could study in RI, why cant' i study in RGS! Lols. But the musical was really really good, too bad Chen Xuan couldn't make it.

Well after the show we went back to JEC Macdonalds to catch a bite, and chat. Well we talked and talked and talked from 11 until almost midnite, then we were like "shoot"! Lols and my mum had already asked me to come back at 11. So we walked back, dropped Jevon back, then Val, and Ivan and I were left. And then, I learnt that IVAN IS A FLIRT! Lols he actually self proclaimed it. That's so cool i wanna be a flirt too! Lols jkjk.

Refer to Meii's blog for more details. Lols

2005-07-30T15:48:00.000-07:00

A perfect life, would be when...

I can talk to people - without having to worry what they think about me

I can see myself in the mirror - without pointing out all my imperfections

I can accept criticisms - without worrying what i have done

I can smile - genuinely

I can be early - without prompt

I can open myself up - without worrying how people will react to the real me

I can see people - with pureness in their heart

I can face up to reality - bravely

I can love exactly how i am - without bothering about society's standards

I can love others - without return

I can face everything thrown at me - with the willingness to do them

I can emphatize with others - with a soft and humble heart

I can gain back my childhood thinking - that precious innocenct heart

But i know, these i can never achieve.....

2005-07-24T00:40:00.000-07:00

DAMN ELIZA DUSHKU IS SEXY!

2005-07-22T21:19:00.000-07:00

Hai...feeling really depressed...am sorta thinking, am i hated or something? Or do i not have the respect of my own fellow classmates?

Well as everyone knows, the new happy potter book has jsut came out. Well due to that sky high price i didn wanna buy it, but rather, borrow it from some crazy harry fan out there after he's done with it. Well that proved to be a grave mistake.

Well after pestering Gabriel for some time, he finally lent me his book today. Well of course i was very happy and couldn wait to get started on it. But as we were just swimming earlier on, and for some stupid reason i still had a whole lot of soap on my hair unwashed, so i jsut went to the window, used a bottle and started 'rinsing' my hair. Well that was immediately after i got the book from gabriel and put it in my bag, even taking the effort to cover the bag with my jacket so that someone would not steal it. Cuz i had heard of these kinda cases from other classes.

So after washing my hair, i just walked around the class talking to people, wasting time as the humanities quiz i was due to take was only gonna start at around 3, and i wasn planning on going for cca nor the stupid cheena jiang zuo thing. Well after wasting enuf time in class, i decided to go down to the library and get started on the book. And after climbing down three storeys (cuz of spastic pang chi) i found in the library that...the book had gone....Naturally i panicked and rushed back to class to see if any joker was fooling around. But after searching and searching, it was to no avail. I had lost a book lent to me just 20 minutes ago.

Well i heard that ever since last yr, there has been a thief among us, stealing wallets and handphones. But i never expected him to be so daring, since i was in class during the entire duration the book had been in my bag and then gone. Right under my nose. I guess you can blame me for being careless whatever, but what can i say? The bag was technically under my watch the whole time, but he still got hold of it.

Hope the guy returns it, went to talk to Mr Singh, says he'll talk to the class. But i doubt that'll be of any help. Guess i'll just have to buy one to return it...

Dad says i shouldn't feel angry at these kinda people, that we should just pity them for whatever they're doing. So i'll just think that they have a very very bad family with no money to buy BOOKS and have to resort to these kinda underhand means to get them. Well i decided i wun pity them, but more so, i will despise them.

Go fug urself hueva stole e bk--------> I hope u wank urself until u bleed, go get prostate cancer. (My msn nick...)

2005-07-17T23:11:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was positively great! Mucch better than a conventional sch day..LOL

Well started off e day by going to sch0ol for our ri open house. It was quite a failure actually, cuz not many people turned up. AND! We actually had to go and attend to a stall for squash, well actualy all the cca's had to do that, but yea it was darn boring. Like, squash is already a miserable game, with an even more miserable number of people playing it, so who in the right mind would come and see the stall? Moreover for my shift, i was assigned to two other sec threes, so awkward. Yea and the comp presentation was conked up. Wah seh they actually lent a laptop to every cca for their presentation. But since ours was madd, (the ppt was screwed up and it was in a read only format so no changing), so i was like surfing the net blahh. LOL. But Nic was like wah lau wad u doing and blah blah blah. So after serving one hour of toture, i went to play with Mark. LOL. Shift two hours, do one hour play the other. Wahahaz. Well i didn play too badly, got some points from him. Hah.

Well by the time i got home, it was already 2+ close to 3pm. So i ate, and slacked, and slacked, and slcaked. And by the time i took my shower, it was already 4+...and church was at 5! Well but Brans had tuition so i could take my time. LOL. Well as usual we arrived in church a few mins late, Hahaz paisehh...then we did the normal stuff we did every Sat in church...did worship and then listened to sermon. But good thing the sermon wasn that long and it wasn that exhausting. Had dinner after service, and i ate you mien! Wahh this you mien not bad lehz, must take number and wait then they send to u one. Shd be quite good ryte? Well...it was not TT bad. lol. But i dun think it was realy like that fantastic for the prices they were charging. AFter all its a hawker centre. oooooh but the xciting part came AFTER dinner, as usual we went to Macs to slack while Paa caught up with some of the cell members. And guess wad? We played a game...hrm....yeapz! THAT game. LOL. Spin the bottle larrhz. Well ya might think aiya church goers, cant do anything too bad larhz. Well we didn do anything bad or RA, just fun...if u get the drift=p

Well mine were quite boring cuz i only got it twice and asked for truth questions. And by the time the said that no truth only dares, my turn never came again...so sad. THE BOTTLE HATES ME! lol. The few most memorable ones...starting with...Joanne! Hers was quite farnie, hehez..she was made to stand under the Macdonalds tv and try to switch channels...lol! And of course there were no switches ryte? Cuz after all it was only made to show their Macdonalds ads ryte. So she had to act dumb and press the LG symbol pretending that was the switch. And she even asked two people sitting nearby how to switch channels...HEEZ! But one of the guys, Jianhui, was darn nice so he luffed along with us...and unlucky him got involved in alot of ours dares. Wahsz.

Then was Francs. He's was really funny. U noe since National day is coming, they hung those mini flags in front of the counter. So his dare was to try and catch those flags. Well for his extemely tall height, reaching the flags would be no problem, and that was where the fun came. Cuz he couldn actually catch the flags, only pretend. LOL. Well shant explain the scene, just try to imagine....=D

Then came Shawnie's. Well his was simple actually, but simply hilarious. He was just made the go to the magazine rack near the cashier, and..read it! Well it cant be that simple can it? Well actualy it is....That is, before came the...."HAHAHA! HHAHAHA!" Wahhaz he jsut had to flip the magazines while luffing at the top of his voice. Duzn sound so farnie, but trust me, he made it funny. ;)

Well now for the ultimate....JASPER! Woooot. Guys if u wanna make a real fool outa ur frens, just do this. =D Well it involves the cashier...and some straws! Yes! He slowly walked to the counter, then as there was a free counter, the person was like 'how can i help u?' He didn reply, just bent over and started pressing the straw thing for straws...And then, after gathering enuf, he stoood up, and asked "Auntie, how much?' LOL! Wahahz and all she could do was just smile and start luffing. Wahhaz we rawwk we have a way of bringing joy to these people and their dull jobs=p. Wahahz.

I LURVE MY CELL!=D

Woman - A Chemical Analysis

2005-07-15T19:39:00.000-07:00

Element : Woman
Symbol : WO
Atomic Weight : Accepted as 59, but known to vary 50-88.
Discoverer : Adam
Occurance : Copious quantities in all Urban areas,with slighlty lower concentrations in
Suburban and Rural areas. Subject to
seasonal fluctuations.

Physical Properties :
1) Surface usually covered with sticks painted film.
2) Boils at nothing, freezes without reason.
3) Melts if given special treatment.
4) Bitter if used incorrectly. Can cause headaches. Handle with care!
5) Found in various states; ranging from virgin metal to common ore.
6) Yields to pressure applied to correct points.
7) Undergoes inpredicatable spontaneous dehydrolyses (weeps).

Chemical Properties :
1) Has great affinity for Gold, Silver, Platinum and many of the PreciousStones.
2) Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3) May explode spontaneously if left alone on dates.
4) Insoluble in liquids, but there is increased activity when saturated inalcohol to a certain point.
5) Repels cheap material. Neutral to common sense.
6) Most powerful money reducing agent known to Man.

Uses :
Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.
Can greatly improve relaxation levels.
Can warm and comfort under some circumstances.
Can cool things down when it's too hot.

Tests :
Pure specimen turns rosy pink when discovered in natural state.
Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.

Caution :
1) Highly dangerous except in experienced hands. Use extreme care when handling.
2) Illegal to possess more than one

Man - A Chemical Analysis

2005-07-12T18:18:00.000-07:00

Element : Man
Symbol : Ma
Atomic Mass : Accepted as 70. May vary from 50-150 kg.
: Highly reactive at 150 or higher. (avoid at all costs)
Quantitative : Accepted at 7 inches, wavy brown hair, 6' 0" in length,
though some isotopes can be as short as 4 inches.
Discoverer : Eve
Occurance : Found following duel element Wo, often in high
concentration near a perfect Wo specimen.

Physical properties :
1) Obnoxious when mixed with C*H*-OH (any alcohol).
2) Tends to fall into very low energy state directly after reaction with Wo
(Snore ... zzzzz).3) Gains considerable mass as specimen ages, loses reactive nature.
4) Rarely found in pure form after 14th year.
5) Often damaged as a direct result of unlucky reaction with polluted form of
the Wo commom ore.
6) Tarnishes easily. Needs constant polishing and attention
7) Crusty exterior but may be soft underneath.
8) Naturally found in the crude state but may be purified
9) Simple in structure.
10) Often found in the gaseous state.
11) Spontaneous polarity changes relative to surrounding specimens.

Chemical properties :
1) All forms desire reaction with Wo, even when no further reaction ispossible.
2) May react with several Wo isotopes in short period under extremely
favorable conditions.
3) Usually willing to react with what ever is available.
4) Reaction Rates range from aborted/non-existant to Pre-interaction effects
(which tend to turn the specimen bright red.)
5) Reaction styles vary from extremely slow, calm and wet to violent/bloody.
6) Great affinity for fatty substances.
7) May react violently under pressure.
8) Low boiling point, high melting point.
9) Attraction to large quantities of iron.
10) Poorly bonds with other substances.
11) Pure substances are rarely found except when covalently bonded.

Storage : Best results apparently near 18 for high reaction rate,
25-35 for favorable reaction style.

Uses : Heavy boxes, top shelves, long walks late at night,
general repairs, free dinners for Wo...

Tests :
1) Pure specimen will rarely reveal purity, while reacted
specimens broadcast information on many wavelengths.
2) Appearance greatly improves when placed in a sports car.
3) Easily titrates to yellow under stress.
4) Never true blue.

Caution : Tends to react extremely violently when other Man interferes with
reaction to a particular Wo specimen. Otherwise very maleable
under correct conditions.

2005-06-25T00:35:00.000-07:00

Hahahz let me remind everyone once again of this harse reality, that school is starting again! After a long month's break, school is finally gonna dominate us again. Sigh imagine the workload guys. This is the streaming year after all for us sec 2's, and for the even sadder sec 4's (excluding those in ip) they have to face the horrid o's. Seeing my bro study, like at least 8 hrs a day of mugging just during the holidays, i wonder how other's will study man. It's so scary! Just hope that i'll be able to do much better than my screwed up first half of the year during semester 2. Maybe i should start mugging lah! Hahaz but that's like so hard to imagine cause i'm me after all. GAhh

Shoot school's starting in 1 day and i'm not done with my homework! Hahaz but i'm smart! (Jkjk) Hahaz i'm like letting alot of ppl copy my work then asking them for homework i haven't done in return. Lazy me, but what to do? Aahaz ppl are always saying, ur bro looks more like he's in ur school than you are! Which means he studies so much harder lah. Wah seh even friends of my parents say that. Am i that bad? Hahz i tink it's multiplied many times cuz of how hard my bro studies. My mum always tells me, "if i mix you and gor gor together in a blender, i wouldn't be having so much of a problem!" Hahaz and i always tell her in response "Hey! If me and gor gor were the same, then ur life would be so boring!" Ahahaz cuz it's quite wierd between me and my brother. We're almost world's apart. He's a super study-er and he's ever looking for somewhere new and quiet to study. Sometimes you don't even know he's in the room cause he's just so quiet! Whereas whenever you need to find me, you just need to look at the computer table and ta-dah! Ahaz and we're so different in terms of character too. But as they always say, opposites attract. We're almost the closest pair of small-age-gap-brothers you can possibly find. HAhaz now that's one thing my mum can't complain about! But well i'm super jealous of him anyway cause he finished msot of his homework in the first week of the holidays whereas i, erhum. I think i shouldn't mention lah. =S Haaz

So sad! Was supposed to go catch 'Initial D' just now, but we were having lotsa second thoughts about it, cuz after all school's starting in a days time and we're not even used to our normal sleeping time, by alot in fact. See it's already 12.39 and i'm still not in bed. Hrm this holidays has been the wildest one i've had since i even started having holidays lols. Went out alot. Slept late almost everyday but that's not too wierd cuz every hols is almost like that. Then not worrying about homework! Dunno why i was just so confident about finishing my homework this hols. Maybe it's cause the workload is considerably smaller but still. My parents' got so mad over this cause it was the last week of hols and i still had not finished even half of my homework. But yea it's Sunday and i'm almost done...sorta=p. Don't worry parents!

Hahaz Happy Schooling Ppl!

P.S. Sorry this post abit act cheem cuz i nid to start getting used to writing proper eng if not once school starts my english is gonna die! Lols.

2005-06-17T16:25:00.000-07:00

Hahaz okayz since I watched PCK only yesterday, i figured it would be better to write it now, at least it would still be fresh in my head and the facts would be slightly more accurate=p. Well that also comes with the prompting of some ppl=p

Hahaz okayz! PCK! Won't give a general comment but rather, write it out first. Hahaz Ok! When we furst arrived at the place, it wasn exactly wad u called packed with ppl. I guess cuz being a typical kiasu family, we decided to be there half an hour before the show started! Ahaz well not that it was because the thing was in a free seating arrangement, but more so to avoid the crowd. Anywayes, as we had one extra ticket, we gave it to a friend of the family, sorta. This guy went to China with us when we went to build toilets for the poor ppl=p Ahaz We were very lucky, cuz as Phua AhMA and Frankiee Foo are blood-related to us, we got free tix to the front row seats. Ahahaz so we got to see the whole show close up.

Well the show basically started off with PCK dreaming about some sexaye babes, and being a cheeko pek he was rather drooling over them=p But soon after that some black crows arrived! OHGAWD! Ahaz to us, aiyaa black crows only marhz. But soon we find out, oooooh its PCK's 40th birthday in 2 days! Ahahz bad luck larhz. Then he opened his mouth and started singing...................Shocked! AHaz i was so shocked! PCK can actually sing! AHhaaz and when he sing got power one lehz! Waddahell. Im Jealous! Heez yea then when he woke up, he found that......no one was doing anything or at leasting not showing that they were planning a beeg bang burthday celebration for him! Awww poor PCK, if it was me i would make known to my parents it was my birthday at least 2 weeks in advanced and start requesting birthday treats=p Hahaz Yea and so being a vaiin man, he refused to tell them but rather wanted them to tell him it was his birthday! Ahahaz but thing was, no one showed that they even remembered it! AHhaz how cute. Shouldn he have like guessed something? Cuz they did mention that the family actually celebrated his previous birthdays. Ahahz and the funniest thing was that on his birthday morning itself, he made a darn farnie statement..........."wa lau! Why no cake?! The only cake i got was from this morning arhz!......" Ahahahaz u shd be able to guess whad it was larhz! Heez. And he was soooo sad that no one even remembered his birthday...and that was when...poof! Phua Chu Kok comes! AHaaz the long lost brother! Wow sho qiao hor? Then they went to a fortune teller to......get his fortune told larhz! Ahahz lame well to ask if....his family was going to throw a beeg beeg party for his birthday. Wow so small thing oso mus go fortune teller Ahhaz. Then the fortune teller told him THREE THINGS!
1) He would meet his long lost brother
2) Something beeeg would fall on him
3) He was going to die before he turned 40.
Ahahaz so the first one was fufilled, then soon after that, when he was still in doubt, someone was throwing things at him. AHahaz first a flower pot, then a dummy, and surprisingly he dodged them all. WAh! Super human senses! Ahahz well actually PCK was saved by chu kok, though i didn really see him having a part in pulling PCK from the falling body. Ahaz so as he was gg to die, Chu Kok brought out a lawyer and a contract, saying that supposedly after PCK dies, everything would go to Chu Kok. AHahz typical thing a PCK would do...something stooopid=p Then when he went home, he announced it, furst, he was gg to die, and secondly, everything would go to ChuKok, no matter what state PCK was in (Solid and liquid=p) , which meant no matter whether he lived or died. Then suddenly! HAHAHAHA! AHhahahaz luffing frankiee foo comes! AHahaz he rawwks! OHNO! Chukok was actulay one of his men! ARGHH! Ahahaz Yea so everything, including PCK's yellow booot(nooooooooooo) Would go to Frankie! Ahahz then all of a sudden! Oh no! Frankie's gotta heart attack! AH! AH! AH! Then poof! FRankie falls....aww.....Then....heroic PCK comes to the rescue!=) He goes in for a lick(CPR) a lick ahahaz then after jsut one 'lick', Frankie ish revived! YAY! Ahahaz And frankie goes....." What?! AFter i steal everything u own, u saved my life?! ...........Got yin mou rite! " AHhaz Then PCK drama-ly said " What?! I saved ur life u still liddat?! Aiya! Let's go larhz!" Ahaaz then beeeg beeg hearted Frankie gives back PCK everything he owned on account of him saving his life, and The END!=) Ahaz of course this is the "Bryan-infused lame stuff together with show" lame version of the story larhz!

And i forgot to add! GAWD! Margaret and PCK can sing so well! WAh when they sing their voices can move one lehz! AHahaz well actually the whole team could sing, of course, with the exception of Rosie! Ahahz she absolutely cant sing When they were singing a duet near to the end of the show, PCK as a guy naturally had to sing the lower part of the duet, but PCK could reach notes higher than Rosie's itself, and when Rosie had to sing the higher notes, she simply couldn be heard! HAhaz Well the show was great! And i tink it must have cost ALOT to produce, cuz they actualy hired a whole team of professional dancers, singers, orchestra! Woah! SO PPL! GO WATCH!=) For a maybe more serious version pls visit Jevon's blog for more info!

P.S. U may wonder what happened to Phua Chu Kok at the end, well he ended up as a beautiful transvestite at the end ( For no reason at all) , so real that my dad couldn tell the difference until he looked at that huge adam's apple!=)

2005-06-15T16:25:00.000-07:00

Hahaz yoyo! Time for session of revival! This blog is seriously dying!=p

Okiex...furst of all...homework! Yay! I finished two mcq compre for chinese, two yue du bao gao, a science reflective writing...wow, ya may think " Wa liao! That Bryan's a mugger yea!" Well actually no...that's cuz..i still haven started on my english, history and geography homework, which are very very much harder. Dotzz...And chinese aint even halfway thru! Gahh im starting to get jittery! But heck larhz, there're ppl who haven even started...say taik?=p Chao slacker...and even other mugsters haven done wad i have....which aint exactly alot=p. Soo...im trying to take comfort in that=)

Yay! I finally caught Mr and Mrs Smith!=) It raawwks! Wow the whole plot was like superb, but of course that was cuz it was rewritten probably a hundred plus times. Didya noe that both Jolie and Nicole Kidman were considered for the role? And for the male lead there were others in the running as well! But apparently they all backed out for some reason or another and yea...brad pitt and jolie got it! Hollywood's Golden SCAM couple=) Poor Ani...but heck larhz the movie was still great. I especially liked the part where they were like shooting at each other in their BEAUTIFUL house! The whole house was probably destroyed within 30 minutes or less. Woah i would die to live in such a house and poooof! In less than half an hour, its gone. Dotz... Jolie's reaal hott! She was darn cool...specially when she was sadistically torturing that poor guy she was gonna assasinate..hahaz bondage how kewl. Brad has breast hair! It was so darn obvious cuz the cam was like right on top of his chest or at least very very near to it...ahahz. Overall the best part was when they blew up the whole house! WOOOT!! How cool can that get! But their house was so darn nice it was sucha pity. And so were their cars! Destroyed, both of them sumore. Woah no wonder the movie cost like 100 million to produce.

Anwayes, after the movie, we went to marche to eat. Marche was really a bad bad idea, for a number of reason, the main one was which we, poor little children without their parents, simply wouldn have been able to afford eating a full meal. So i was walking around, and around, and around just looking for something cheap to satisfy my hunger. But..couldn find. So as a result all of us had to share, two by two, and i got Jevon!=) Yea...soo....we shared one crepe, which was ridiculously expensive at 8.40, barely able to satisfy my hunger. (We shared the crepe me and Jev) So.....i went to look for something else to fill my poor tummy. And i found...mashed potato! WOOT. Not cuz the mashed potato there was exceptionally nice, but cuz it only cost 3 bucks. Which is already mad, as it was only mashed potato with some sauce. Well after wolfing that down, i still was hungry, but luckily there were people around, who i couldn understand why, couldn finish their food!=) And as a result they passed it on to lucky me, who devoured everything. Man i am a peeg! Ahaz So i had a dinner of almost all carbo and nothing else...dotz..and paid a fine 10 bucks for it! Gawd.

Well after that it was time to go home...sadd. Well now every night my sleeping time is around 12. As in, the time i feel like i wanna sleep. But for some reason or the other, i never do that, and by the time i get to bed, usually its already around three. Maddness ehh? YEa and its just so hard to fall aslp, cuz its like after my sleeping time, and when i get up in the morning, im so tired i cant do any work, and...the cycle continues. Haish perhaps thats why i haven done much...and my mum's naggings getting more constant...haish. Third week of hols, school ish starting soon. Getting nervous. Heck. Let's just be the me i am for as long as i can be, until school work really has to take over and the mugster attitude has to begin....

And oh yea! Tonite im gonna watch PCK! HAhaz and the great thing is that we got the tix free cuz one of the leads is actually my aunt=) How lucky i am ahaz. Hope the shows good=)

2005-06-07T19:42:00.000-07:00

Wuz told to blog that my ma/daughter very goooood. So i did. Ahaz

2005-06-06T12:26:00.000-07:00

Woah! Finally my very furst post in a long long tym...Heez dunno why jsut lost that drive to wanna blog.

Anywaes, just to update everyone on how i've been briefly. Just got my report slip last week. The results were as usual, same old crap that the teachers showed us before school ended. Quite disappointed with my results, cuz didn perform up to expectations but hey, semester 2 is coming up=p. The comments...heez. It's quite unbelievable that out of the six subject teachers that i have, five of them commented on me. Ya might think, hey not too bad this bryan, quite known among the teachers. But heez. The comments weren exactly as i expected them to be :S. Eng teacher was like, bryan should have performed better this semester. Dotz dotz. Hrm..furst comment was already a negative one. Gah..then chinese...bryan should read more compos to improve his compo...ahhh....ryte. Second one isn positive too. Wow. Geog was spastic, the teacher just wrote 'good work'. Wah liddat also must comment i can be a teacher already. Then maths tchr says i didn reach my potential or wad crap. Gah wad are my parents gonna say when they see my report slip? =S. Forget it, its still with Arif so..safe for now=p.

Malaysian trip! How spas after so long then write bout it. But yea, the trip was rather fun. Of cuz not the actitivities that they had planned for us lah. How interesting can farms and forests and orang asli's be? But i must admit the forest walk, especially the treetop walk(or was it called that?) was really fantastic. But i did have to spray alott of deo (it was the only time i used it) so that i wouldn stink cuz it was like a long long hike. Heez. But it was great, especially the treetop walk cuz it was like, if you tot of it, your whole life depended on an aluminium ladder, and mind you a single one, and wooden planks laid on top of it. And we were like woah so high=) I lurvved it! But those ppl who were scared of heights really are quite poor thing. And the trip down! Woah so cool we were like rushed for time so we were lke jumping down the trail down, and it wasn even a proper road. We had to like crawl under pipes that guided us down, cross mini streams, but it was darn exciting. It was quite just so nice. Ahh i wished it wouldn end. Yea that was about all the exciting stuff there was on the malaysian trip. And at nite! Ahh i lurved the nites. We would sneak around past the curfew time and just do our stuff. Heez i remembered i was lokced out on my last nite cuz my roommate had slept already and refuesd to wake up. Blerghs. So i had to go sleep in my other frens room, which wasn that comfortable. Ahaz but hey it was rather fun. If the teachers knew about it they would kill us for sure but hey! Who cares=)

Gah getting rather nervous, cuz it's like the furst week has passed and i haven even started on any of my hw. Note any. None at all. Super unlike me. But the mood to study is just not with me. I've been like playing hard all week long, going out on mon, tues, wed, fri, sat, sunday!. Wah seh. I'm crazy. Ppl says its the holidays, relax, but it's just not me to do that. Hey dun get me wrong, i did wanna start on my homework, but it's like, Sunday, okay i'm gonan start my homework today. In the end, never. Mon, same thing. So i wun let that happen again today. Im gona start my homework today!

Yesterday was a rather interesting day. Furst went for boring squash and got reprimanded for not going for saturday training. Yea but it wasn just me, it was the whole sec 2 team. Cuz its like for the saturday run, alot of sec 1s and 3s went, but none of the sec 2s went. Dotz ahahz it was qutie farnie. But i dun tink coach found it farnie so yea. Then after that on my way back, while i was at serangoon mrt, i tink i smsed sarah that i was bored and just suggested watching a movie. Or was it her? Cant rembr. Anwayes we did so we met up and JeC and watched h2g2. it was absolutey horrid! We walked out after barely watching it for even an hour! Yikz! should have watched monster inlaw instead. Haish then after that we went to Zaky's house and watched ella enchanted and that was much better. Heez.

Gosh wonder if this is a long enough post for my long long absence from the world of blogging. Ahahaz wil try to update more often!

2005-05-19T15:22:00.000-07:00

Woah my class seriously rox. We came to school brite and early, and started out with me shouting at Gayming cuz he was like so DotZ..nvm. Symtimes i really feel exasperated at my classmates, although i know that wad im doing at that tym may be wrong. But who cares.

The fascinating thing about today, was the number of people infected with the bug today. Already we started out with a rather small number of 31, because 6 people had been already done with the bug, and after that, due to dunno who, the entire class started getting infected. So it was like, the only person i knew that wasn sick was CX, a swimmer. Like duh. The rest of us wre al like, should we go back home and rest? But in the end only 7 people left for home, and sadly, i wasn one of them. I was seriously feeling horrid, but hey, i made it back. So when the so called 'more sick' people had all left, it was Geography lesson. And Jacq was like "ooooh this is just like a GE class! Wah 2G GE 2G GE..................." How freaking lame can she get? And she kept ranting on and on about "ooh this class people now look quite intelligent ah?! So can answer more intellectual qns eh?" WTF? I h8 teachers hu're biased. Well maybe it could jsut be my own interpretations but heck. Is she ever inncoent?

Recently more and more people are getting jacqed by the law because of these blogs. They may not be such a good thing after all. There are many things that we can argue about, that this is a free world and we should be allowed our freedom for speech jsut like the American people. But sadly that is not the case with Singapore. Though democratic, we aren't allowed this privilege. I gues they can argue that they are doing this for the good of the whole Singapore, as we are so small and yada yada yada. Wad am i crapping? Well not really, an ex Boi hus an SAF scholar got jailed or fined? Not very sure, but just becuase of this his future is ruined. Maybe i should consider putting a password on my blog. Well just to inform you pipz, if i ever do, the password will be "passwordsarelame". How lame can i get? Heck.

2005-05-15T00:06:00.000-07:00

Hrm abit disappointed with my results for Napfa...did worse than last year for two components, mainly shuttlerun and sit ups. Hrm...but heck. Still got what i aimed for...forget it.

Received back my Science results. Got a mere 32/40. Really feeling abit stressed, cuz i just can't live up to my parents and class's expectations of me. And of course, the worse thing, is of myself. Not being able to achieve what you set out to get really pains. I doubt i'll be able to achieve my goals for this semester, just have to work harder the next time round.

Went to church today, felt really blessed cause pastor spoke of faith. I really feel myself lacking of it, and i'll just have to work on it i guess. Was really touched though.

Today's post is abit short, cuz ain't feeling much of a mood to. Will work on it again. Ciao

2005-05-12T21:03:00.000-07:00

School life....one which is filled with many joys and grief. The joys, is naturally the company, the friends you have in school. The bonds that you make that will follow you till your deathbed. One so strong it will take a great turnover of events to even shake it. The thing about having classmates follow you up for a year, and stay with you for both secondary one and two, is really a blessing. For as you get to know each other better and better, and begin accepting their flaws, you really get to see what shines within them which causes you to appreciate them all the more, and increase that fear of losing them the next yr when the dreaded yr of secondary three arrives. I guess that's why they like to hold cohort camps year after year, simply to strengthen that bond.

But of course there are the grieves. What are they? Of course living out the real purpose of going to school, which of course is to learn and get that one paper which will give you such a big headstart in your career in future. It's quite silly i guess, this thought, but it makes a whole lot of sense to me. The milestones in your school life is inevitably determined by how well you do on paper, which will of course lead to the all important..exams. It was so disappointing and discouraging when i received some subjects marks. Well the furst one is History, which i tink i did ok, got 26/30 for it and an overall of an A+, hiting 81%. Then was maths. The furst of the series of disappointing marks. In my entire life, i have never scored as badly as i didn this yr. Well many excuses can be made of course, that sec two is tougher, and stuff. But That's not an excuse. Even worse, chinese. At least for maths i still scored above class average. But for chinese, i was utterly devestated! I had gotten the lowest i ever did in my entire life. I had never done this badly even in secondary school, and by a great margin. I felt like crying so bad...but i just cant get the tears out. Why? Why must i keep my misery hidden? My parents will worry. So i don't plan on telling them. Just have to pray and ask for healing in my heart in this period of time, and work harder the next time round i guess.

Well of course there are excitements as well. I simply love my class, although they do do some stuff that are considered undesirable. Just like that day, just a few days ago. It was recess time then, and as we had some special programs going on, we had been let of early and wre in class waiting for the next session to start. So as i was rather tired, i followed the rest of the class in sleeping, but the mistake was, i had done it on the carpeted floor. Bad idea! The next moment, three chairs were over me and i was being tickled until i almost cried! Then soon the taupok came! Ever since reported in the newsppr, our class has been in this mad craze to do so. Well....bad newsppr! AHahz and yea you noe they went slightly further than the taupok. Some took the opportunity to look at *erhum*. And before i knew it, everyone was tugging at my shorts, pulling off my shirt, and trying to peep within my briefs. Whaloa! I guess they finaly succeeded this tym, they got the golden chance to see my *toooooooooooooooooooooooot*. GRR. Hhaz this had happened before, jus that then it was in the atrium where our english street theatre was supposed to be held. They didn actually get to see within my undies then, but they had unbuttoned my shirt till it was left hanging over the sides, and unzipped my pants, so it was hanging at my knees. And i was like protecting my babe with all my might. And when i finally broke free, i was standing there almsot only in my undies and i had to hop off towards the car porch area to put my clothes back on. In public. Hahaz but it was quite fun i had to admit.

Well this is school. Despite all the setbacks, i will miss it when i grow up..just like how i miss my primary school so very much now...wishing with all my might that time could turn back to relish the good old days all over again....

2005-05-09T17:00:00.000-07:00

Wooot~ Hahaz there wasn school today cuz we had aep exams and guess wad? I dun take aep=D

Hahaz the sad thing was that we had training today from 10-1. But it wasn that bad, considering that we didn have pt. Woah simon yang's personal training is real good. I could feel my strokes all come in when i was training today. Sad thing was that my game still sux, but hey, that will come with experience.

Today was pretty boring, considering that besides training, i had to say goodbye to my parents. They've gone to china for i tink 18 days. So at home me and my bro are e only ones left, cuz my grandma too is still in malaysia. Hrm this will be a hard 18 days of roughing it out. No mum, no one to do all e stuff. Hrm wonder who packed my bed this morning...omg! A ghost! Ahahaz must've been my bro. He's still having his exams and so he's gg to our grandma's hse to study everyday cuz its real noisy at home cuz of e construction works gg on upstairs. So...im alone..i guess. Well sometimes ppl keep complaning bout their parents, but once they get these kinda experiences, they mite learn how to appreciate them better. I guess im these kinda ppl, although i do love them so much. Haish...how i miss them so.

And yea! I forgot to say in my last entry, i finally bought an mp3 player=D It's this thing called the muvo sq. The interesting thing is that it really is sq! Ahahz rite..not farnie. Yea and it's rather problematic. That day was trying to do some stuff on it then e stupid thing hanged or dunno wad then alot of probs larh. So in e end sent it to the place again to repair it. And guess wad? Cuz my battery had run outa power, they returned it to me and had to use one of their own. So after showing me the after effect of their clever handling of it to make it rite again, they said ,'ok thank you! ' Ok...i said thanks alot and left with my mum. On my way back, i was thinking, how could the thing work without a battery? Cuz e battery was rite there in my pocket?! So i opened it up, and hey presto! There was one of their own batteries. Wow! I considered returning it to them, but decided against it in e end=p, giving the excuse that if there were anymore probs i would return it. Hahaz the andrenaline is realy great cuz i was told that e battery costs more than $100. Wow so in case my own battery spoils, hahaz i can save my precious hundred bucks!=D

Wuz reading the bible that night, and while reading the passage "Jesus Goes To The Feast". Under John 7 : 1-12. It states I am not yet going up to the feast. This realy made an impression on me cuz at that bottom it wrote that some early manyscripts did not have the 'yet' present.
1, if as following the early manuscripts, Jesus would have then commited a sin because if he said that that he would not go, but went eventually as written later on, then he would have been lying, isn this a sin?
2, if really there was a yet present, then would this deem this passage as an inconsistent source? And branded as unreliable? Im not sure but these are just the thoughts that flowed into my mind at that point.

2005-05-08T18:11:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh! CT is finally over! Wahahz!

How cute! On friday morning, during our usual boring morning assembly...i suddenly saw this note! Saying 'pls come to staff rm 1 after your ppr........and please ask bryan nah to come along as well.." Oh rite! After CT i was gg to get something from her...rite....Well this is how it all started.

That afternoon we were waiting in our classroom after our science make up class to get back out lotr pprs. So we waitied.......and waited.....ahhhh.... Grr okay fine he said that he would come at 3.30 and it was only like eh 2.45? WTH? So no choice lor we jsut waited in class. And at that tym rite, our class liked to play soccer in class. So at the front of the class, four ppl were kicking at the ball making wonderful noises...blerghs. And me and my frens were there toking away...and to think i was so stupid to not go to the computer lab to wait instead when my other fren asked me too...which would come back to haunt me later on. And when we were talking away...suddenly, silence. We were like er...cuz we were e only ones talking. And guess who we saw at the door? Jacqer.....'OHSHIT!' She was like fuming mad with her jacqing face saying, "out! Clear the room i wan no one in this room!" WTH lor hu is she larhz.

So we went outside the JB to wait lor....i was so stupid...i didn leave there and then. How freaking stupid of me. GRRR. So after like 10 mins suddenly she called us bak. So go bak lor...then she was like those of you in class then stand here!!!! Then she told our clas rep to take down all our names. Then me and my were like 'ma'am we need to go get our squash prize' FK! She said 'u dun deserve no price in her stupid voice'. GRRR!. Then we were asked to folow her to sit outside the staff room and made to sit there. I was like cussing away at her becuz i couldn get my prize. But my tchr in charge came to my rescue and asked her to let me off cuz nid me to get the prize, instead the other guy from squash, who was actually playing soccer in class had to stay. I could go only becuz i didn play. But still got jacqed all the same. WTH.

Then on fri, rite after ct, i was suppose to go bowling with my fren. But i was asked to go down to outsdie the staff room. To do wad? Detention. It actuallyc ame bak to haunt me. And this tym, it was worse than that day. We just had to sit ourside the staff room and stare at the blank wall for like dunno wad timing she wanted us to stay until. Actually that day was for the heavy offenders who were actually playing soccer in class. Minor offenders like me who were just at the wrong place at the wrong time got jacqed too. GRR. And that day they actually got to do their stuff uni,lke today. How suay of me. HRm! So we were like sittingoutside there...one hr....toilet break....2 hrs....lunch break...3 hrs! AHHZ! How frustrating. For the furst two hours i could still stand it but after that she got past my yield point. I was saying like er...some words to curse her to the core of the earth and i was like imagining that she was made of high endurance metal and could not melt that ezily so she had to stay down there and just burn for all eternity. Hrm i noe it was abit extreme but hey she deserved it. Who does she tink she is? But i can understand. She's jsut having her PMS and early menopause at 30. Wad pissed me off so bad was that she kept me for 3 hrs and e other minor offenders that day for only half that time. And they could do their stuff too. How unfair!

Nvm these kinda ppl are just sadistic and thus nid our understand for their deformed brain totally washed out with a mix of clorox and concentrated ammonia. AMEN.

2005-04-24T00:28:00.000-07:00

Saturday! Church day! Hahaz recently i started making the reading of the bible as part of my before bedtime routine. And just a few chapters, and i can already feel god speaking to me. Somethings that i've learnt in the past few days.

1)
I learnt the significance of water baptism. It stated in the bible, that we are saved when we are born of water and of the spirit. And recently, as stated in revelations, the world seems to be coming to an end. Scared. But we must embrace this sign, for we should rejoice the fact that we will be going to be with the Father in all eternity. I just pray for the salvation of my parents. I do love them so much and it would pain my heart so dearly to see them going down to the pits of heaven to suffer for all eternity.

2)
We are all sinners. And if there wasn the Lord God Jesus, we would all be condemned along with the non-believers. It's a rather scary thought, for its said that during the end times, a monster would come to attack all non believers, and even believers will have to suffer. Argh. Sometimes i just feel that it's really unfair to jsut have one chance on earth. Why on earth did Satan have to come? I hate him!

Well, that's what stood out to me while reading the bible. I hope to be able to attend another encounter, cuz right now my faith is just very weak, and waivers from time to time. Pa, help me. Pray for me. And one more thing. Dun worry pa, i'm not like them. And i wun be.

2005-04-14T05:30:00.000-07:00

Hrm just found out the extreme stage in which some of my classmates have gone to. When i furst went into RI, i heard alot of rumours about them doing lotsa disgusting stuff for kicks like strip teasing in class etc. But when i got in last yr, nth of the sort actually happened...well that is cuz maybe i didn noe anything of the sort was actually going on....

When talking with some classmates these few days, i found out that my suspicions were indeed real. It's just that these people can keep secrets really well. For example the class bisexual. I did noe that he had lotsa sexual activities going on. For one, he had been using one of the class swimmers as a sexual outlet for the past yr. Imagine that, a supposedly innocent sec1 performing these kinda activites when the legal age is 16! Hrm...

Anyway back to the class bi, ever since he leaked out that piece of info, i haven been giving him a break, yea kept nagging at him and stuff. Heez im so nice. Then i tink cuz it got so open, he decided to change targets, and went for the class poser, who is paul. Yea and they were like kissing away and hugging away at every single moment, that is until i caught them on my hp cam:P and he was like so damn pissed but hey, who cares. Anyways, he was like touching pauls penis hair and paul was like moaning. My gosh! Who noes who his next target will be. Blerghs.

Then also the class gay! Hahaz he too had that kinda experience with that same swimmer. My gosh even if he's gay or bi, he should have better taste, cuz e class gay is like, so gross digging his armpits, nose, scratching at his penis and ass, and after which he would enjoy a taste of them. How gross. Anyway yea, they were like doing their stuff in the toilet. Haish.

Hrm and heres a list of the class bis'. As provided by the class bi himself. Well as the saying goes, it takes one to know one, so dun ask me im not one.
1) Ang An Shing
2) Gan Karliang
3) Julian Goh
4) GOH SENKHENG
5) Jun Jinsei
6) Justin Liu
7) Ng ChenXuan(suspected)
8) Lim Shang Cong(suspected)
9) PAUL SIM
10) Toh Hong Xiu(suspected)
11) Wang Dawei(suspected)
Hahaz the ones in bold are e ones who posseses e most qualities of a bi, and italic is the gay.

Hrm scary eh? Yea rather.

2005-04-01T22:03:00.000-08:00

Booox! Yea! Am so happy. Cuz learnt that there won't be any training for nearly the next one month. Hahz those poooor ppl, cant go bak early.

I wana quit third lang! But...pap dun alow. I seriously dun find any thing fun about third lang, its like so boring and dreary. Just cant take it. Then recently took a test and my malay grades were like a b+ which seriously sux.

Hrm am getting very worried, cuz my grades are slowly going down. Its like for my eng i got a mere 23/35. I was just like so shocked. Hrm i must work harder, seriously. But am just influenced by e slack ppl around me. Well like they say, u are hu u mix with. Well i must change.

Blogging has lost alot of appeal to me, so yea e entrees are gettng seriously dry, so yea pardon me...

Lastly just hope i will have a revived and continued interest in church, cuz am slowly slackening and backsliding for that too. Just giving e excuse of me being too young and not ready, but yea thats nt credible. The revalations are happening. More and more earthquakes are occuring, including a recent one in Sumatra measuring 8.7 on e richter scale. But it wasn really that big scale cuz earthquakes have become so common.

And yea, lets just all pray for Terri Shiavo, who lost her life from starvation from food and water for a whole two weeks. And it was all cuz of her husband. 15 yrs is a long tym no doubt, but still even if he had wanted to end her life, injection would have been faster. She may seem brain dead, but her inability to respond and talk might have caused that general impression. May the lord deliver her to heaven.

2005-03-31T18:29:00.000-08:00

Hrm am rather disappointed today....

It was actually the fact of how i sucked at squash sinked in today well and truly. I went to school today thinking that i wouldn have a chance to play today already, cuz although i did win on mon, i screwed up abit and coach was rather unhappy with me.

But when we gathered to hear the sorta "verdict" from Mr Wong, he actually put me in his line up of people playing today. I was rather surprised, but also quite happy.

But when i reached there, when coach was addressing us, he particularly kept looking in Han Lin's direction, who was by the way not chosen by Mr Wong as he screwed up both his last two matches. We too thought that he wouldn play, but yea coach....said that he can do it and blah blah and that he would replace me with Han Lin. Naturally i was pissed larhz. Although Han Lin screwed up the last few matches, i realise that i am not as good as him in the end in coach's eyes. What's the use then? So they played and cuz of coach's line up, although we did play well overall cept for Joel today, coach and wong were quite happy.

Well i guess i'll just have to accept that fact then....

2005-03-26T00:09:00.000-08:00

Boooox! Hahaz haven blogged in a while arhz...today was a rather good day....hehez.

Okayz....furst of all, i woke up bright and early in the morning!.....to....winipok's sms sound! Rite...it was like only 8+ and i was already up. What is this? Waking up so early on a public holiday? My gosh i must be getting old. Wahahz At furst i tot that the appointment was at 10 in e morning, then i was like, okay...there's still plenty of tym aint there? Hahaz so yea...slacked in bed until all of a sudden? Wini called to tell me "Hey we're actually supposed to meet at 9.30 for breakfast!" Wahahz then rushed like siao lorx, then had poor wini wait for bout 8 mins....:P Wahhaz but hey! When we reached opp fuhua to meet miss tua pai, we waited and waited and waited, and guess what? Still no sign of her. So yea we decided to quit waiting and make our way there furst. Yea then when we reached Macs, met mx for e furst tym in more than a yr, hahaz she hasn changed much, just not as fierce as before:p Wahahz The few moment after that till about 11.45 aren worth mentioning, cuz we waited and waited, and discussed and discussed, but still could not decided whether or not to go into the rink, cuz some of us wanted to go catch a movie instead. And yea all e crap larhz. So in e end decided to go to jp to catch the movie. Then! Suddenly when we were walking outside of KFC, i caught sight of jm! She didn see me at furst, but after noticing me, her furs reaction - pointed to me and luff! Ahahahaz! So wierd then i stoooopidly ran away. Wahahz

Jp was super boring, didn get to do much there cuz we found out that e movie tymings were all so wierd. So in e end made a wasted trip there. Crap.

Woooooot! E dance musical today rocked! HAhaz maybe cuz im not a professional dancer but yea, found it real nice. Was talkin bout how this dancer had everything that she wanted, that is materialistically. But after geting all those, she still found that her life was very empty. And that is when Jesus comes into the picutre! Hahaz and her life is filled with meaning and all and Tada! Whahz tink there wasn enuf tym to get a real good storyline, but it was gd.

2005-03-22T18:56:00.000-08:00

Fine! I'm getting so pissed with alot of people. Okay, so i accept the fact that i am gay as according to you all.

I'm really so sick and tired of all these name-callings. Even by my so-called closest friends. I do admit, that i don't act according to the school norms, i dun act manly, i dun like being sarcastic, i dun play games. I am your typical gay rite? I changed my glasses, and that has thus made me look like the Bishan Gay and thus deserves the name of the Jurong Gay rite? Fine!

What is all this crap. I noe myself, i am not a highly sociable person. I can't talk well in front of people, i stutter, i seem just like the person that deserves to be given all the undesirable names. Inclusive of your favourite, which is the 'gay'. I just find it so hard to fit in with this school life. Where everyone acts according to the so called 'rule'. Where we have to act in a certain way to be accepted or be able to fit in. Maybe that's the reason why i hang out with the class gay and bi so much, it's because i jsut find it so hard to fit in with you!

And for my glasses today, i seriously do not know what is so bad about it. But since i have already bought it, why can't u jsut let it rest and jsut get used to it?! Why can't you just respect others? You say i look like the Bishan Gay, so what? Do i ogle at you? Do i act in any way similar to that of his? Is this really so fun? You have never been at the end of the joke, you never know how it feels like. Perhaps that is why you find it so very fun.

I know i am not very articulate. This is but half of what i feel. I think to pray for you is the right thing to do, but i just find it so hard for me to forgive your right now. Please Lord, let me find forgiveness in my heart for these people...

2005-03-21T18:20:00.000-08:00

Boox haven updated in quite a while arhz...just felt abit bored out with blogging :P

Woooz today had a match, didn get to play though. Nvm will definitely play on thurs. Hahaz today's matches were darn quick lorx, we thrashed SA 5-0 arhz. Dn after that we went to KFC, had a quick meal dn left for home le. Waste tym de, spent a total of like 5 hrs there lorx. Woahz.

Then on e way bak was missed calling YL cuz i tot he wanted to call me at first but didn wanna pay for call costs. Sianz hahaz then i keep missed calling him lorx, then tink he got abit pisshed arhz:P Hehez. Then when i came back he called me, asked me why, then said i was boh liao:P But heyz! Who cares man! Ahahaz im madd'

Boox, wanna go watch movieeeee! But no one wan go with me, blerghs, haish. Supposed to go soooooo many tyms le, budden in e end alwaes got ppl say cannot then whole thing canceled. ARhz.

Hate my new template, will change when i got e tym, which will be like dno when wahahz!

And one last thing, for Joel and all who supports Joel's lame talk, i am so innocent!

2005-03-18T07:46:00.000-08:00

------------------GENERAL INFO------------------
Name On Birth Certificate: Nah Chung Wei Bryan
Nicknames: Lots...neh i guess?!
Starsign: Aquarius
School: Raffles Institution
Location: Singapore
Email address: jnah1991@hotmail.com
Colour of eyes: dark brown
Hair colour: black
Shoe size: 11/12?
Brothers/Sisters: 1 older bro
You live with: FaMiLy (duh)
------------------HAVE YOU EVER----------------
Missed school bcoz it was raining: yeapz....hehez
Put a body part on fire for amusement: haha nopex
Been in a car accident: Almost....:P
Been hurt emotionally: Guess so
Kept a secret from everyone: duhh
Had an imaginary friend: Hehez nopex
Cried during a Movie: NEVER
Ever thought an animated character was hot: boox :P
Been on stage: duhh
Been sarcastic: duhh
------------------FAVORITES---------------
Shampoo: dunno dun care
Fav colour/shade: dno, i guess pink/black for now?!
Summer/Winter: winter
Drink: dunno...
Movie: Too many i cant rmb
Ice Cream: dunno.
Subject: Sci!
-------RIGHT NOW------------------
Wearing: no brand shirt no brand shorts no brand underwear
Drinking: nth
Thinking: about how lame this is
Talking to: no1
---------------IN THE >>LAST 24 HRS------------------
Cried: no
Met someone new: yea....
Cleaned your room: no....
Drove a car: no.... (wish i did)
-----------DO YOU BELIEVE IN------------------
Yourself: no....
Santa Claus: NO
Tooth Fairy: NO ghosts : no.....
Angels: YES
UFO's/intelligent life in space: NO
--------------FRIENDS AND LIFE------------------
Do you believe in soul mates?: yeapz duh my wife in future?!
Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: nt now.... hahaz
Do you like anyone?: ???? not now anywaes
Who have u known the longest of your friends: all my frens from fhps!
Who's the weirdest: dno?
Who has seen you cry: hahaz plenty
-------------ABOUT GUYS FOR GIRLS TO FILL OUT---------------
Long or short hair:i not a gal
Good or bad guy: i not a gal
Hat or No Hat:i not a gal
Accent or not: i not a gal
is cool or act cool:i not a gal
--------ABOUT GIRLS FOR GUYS TO FILL OUT --------------
Painted nails or not: up to them??
Cute n' mysterious or wild n' crazy : - wild and crazy manz!
Dark or blonde hair: dark
Hat or no hat: no hat??
Good or bad girl: hehez u tink lehz?
Intelligent or average: above average
Jewelry or none: anyting lahz
Tall or short: hrm short i guess?
Curly or straight hair: straight
Pants or skirt: hehez up to them larhz
Tan or fair: tan!
Freckles or none: NONE
Accent or Not: NOT
Shy or outgoing: outgoing would be best
-----------------FOR EVERYONE TO FILL OUT-----------------
Silver or gold: Gold
Diamond or pearl: Diamonds
Sunset or sunrise: sunrise signifies the start of a new day!
Have you ever broken/sprained/fractured a bone:nopez i dun play socccer!
Do you have any piercings?: dun...but wan:P
Rain, sun or snow?: Snow
How is the weather right now?: GAYING HOT
Do u like cookies?:yeap duhh!
What makes you happy?: reading...hahaz sounds gay rite?
Are u too shy to ask someone out?: hrm dno shd be i guess
What's the stupidest thing u have ever done?: hahaz lots

2005-03-16T11:10:00.000-08:00

Wahahaz yest cell was rather fun, too bad Shun Yong and Frans couldn turn up.

Hahahz yest was mostly reviewing our wk, what we all did and such. But it was only mainly my bro who shared larhz cuz he attended the Adam Khoo workshop and had e most to talk about. Then cuz e other three had nth to talk bout so they talked bout their experience in the tabernacle lorz. Too bad i couldn go, wanted to de, yea..

Hahahz over dinner the talk was mostly bout girls, finding EJ a gf so that his cell members - us, can find gf's too. Hahahz well its not me larhz, it was mostly Shawn, cuz he's super desperate liddat:P Wahahz. Then EJ told us bout his 2 yr promise so called to not find a girlfriend or not to even think of having one after breaking off with his last girlfren almost a yr ago. So yea Shawn'll just hvae to wait another yr larhz!

Hrm so dam frustrated cuz cant access my i-learning, but heck larhz it's jsut sch work...

Hahaaz new fav singer/band, Brian Mcfadden! Wooooot!

2005-03-14T18:14:00.000-08:00

Boox! Haven blogged in a while arhz, just feeling bored with it...hahaz.

These three daex, hrm..okayz...

Sat=
Went for my match in the morning, won this indian from SA 3-1. Was super disappointed cuz all e others won their opponent 3-0, but hey, hu cares. Hahahz then after that found out that me and yan liang were to face off in the next round. Damn at that point i wished that i had lost and entered the plate even instead. Hrm nvm

Church, had to go church that day without my beloved bro...booohoooz. Cuz he had his Adam Khoo workshop. Yea quite jealous cuz i heard it was super good, ahhaz. But church was quite good that day, bonded well with my cell mates. Hehez then over dinner joan had some bursting issues about the service that day that she was asking poor ej non stop the whole way to encounter. Hahaz fee! We did go see u! Wahahz budden cuz Shaun and Joan had to meet their parents at West Mall so we had to leave before we could see Frans or Fee and gang. Hahaz

Sun=
Went to play with Yan Liang, lost pathetically 3-0 even though Brans tot me some of the Adam Khoo methods. Wahahz didn work that well. Then after that went home and slept a record 4 hrs! WOOt! Hahaz then at nite although Alex and Uncle Wong came i just toked and toked on the fone, think they got quite pissed. But hey, sry!

Mon!=
Hahaz that's today! Had training from 10-2. Was supposed to be till 1 de, budden Coach was in a rather bad mood so we had to do about 45 mins worth of pt. Blerghs. Yay! Record! I played 10 sets today and out of them i lost only 1! Woooot! Hehez But as a result i was super shagged and on top of that Coach came out with a 'surprise' 3 sets of pt which lasted 45 mins. Boox. Hrm wah seh was super lei lorx. Dn went for lunch and yea, by e tym i reached home it was already 4+. Haish am so tired....dinner is waiting for me....TA!

2005-03-11T20:42:00.000-08:00

Beeeg news! Sly and Maia are getting married?! Hahaz read today's life for more.

Boox....! Hahaz wah seh today seriously rox larhz..u noe why?! It's FRIDAY! On top of that its the last day of sch woohooz! ahahaz.

I tink im slowly turning into a bad kid...hahaz. Today's track and field is such a good example. Firstly, went to library to read, where i stupidly forgot to return my bk...wtf. Then after that changed into my sucky hse tee...the stupid bloo shirt..blue is such a boring colour..why did i have to get into this house in the furst place? Boox...

After that we assembled in the Morrison tent, hahaz. Saw classmates, went over to join them. Then! I saw the ever so cool Buckley Scarf/bandena*(spelling i not sure)!! It was so kewl larhz! It was like this green square hanky, but was printed with silver words. It was like so coool! Boox! Wahahz. So i went in search of it, asking around "where can i get tt?!" Hahaz im so un-patriotic, dun support my hse then go and buy other house stuff. Wahaz, but cuz i was in my Morrisons tee so i asked Julian, who was in sch U to go help me buy larhz. So i waited and waited and waited, but he tk so long! Argh but when he came back he told me that there were two teachers there and he didn dare to buy. Boooox.....Then i went there myself after attendance taking but they already stopped selling it...arhg....

Hahaz then after tt Daryl and gang was like, eh lets go le larhz. Well i had wanted to pon with them larhz, but i didn want to so early?! So i was like trying to ask them to wait for me this wait for me that ahahaz! Ok. Furst attempt. We tried JB, but a stupid tchr was camping there larhz! WTF?! Hahaz she asked us for our names but we intelligently kept our silence=) Hahaz then after that we went back to the canteen to devise our escape plan.

Plan 2~
Me and Daryl went on 'recon'. Hahaz abit lame but yea heck. We went towards the pool and to our suprise there wasn anyone camping there larhz. Hahaz so we went back, but still we left only after a while due to many silly reasons. Hahaz.

On our way back, i bought the bandena from Daryl. Even though it's been sprayed with blue paint and rubbed upon numerous dicks, i still bought it at the original price, but yea i got it, so im happy larhz.

Argh i want the Moor and Hullet house tees too, but dno how im gonna get them...see when larhz.

2005-03-10T22:22:00.000-08:00

SIMPLE PLAN LYRICS

"I'm Just A Kid"

I woke up it was 7
I waited till 11
Just to figure out that no one would call
I think i got a lot of friends but I don't hear from them
What's another night all alone?
When your spending everyday on your own
And here it goes

[Chorus:]
I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun than me
Tonight...

And maybe when the night is dead, I'll crawl into my bed
Staring at these 4 walls again
I'll try to think about the last time, I had a good time
Everyone's got somewhere to go
And they're gonna leave me here on my own and here it goes

I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun than me

What the fuck is wrong with me?
Don't fit in with anybody
How did this happen to me?
Wide awake I'm bored and I can't fall asleep
And every night is the worst night ever

I'm just a kid [repeat x5]

I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world.

I'm just a kid and life is a nightmare
I'm just a kid, I know that its not fair
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
Nobody wants to be alone in the world
Nobody cares, cause I'm alone and the world is
Having more fun than me tonight

I'm all alone tonight
Nobody cares tonight
Cause I'm just a kid tonight

2005-03-10T22:12:00.000-08:00

1. Starting Time: 9.57pm
2. Full Name:Bryan Nah Chung Wei
3. Best Friend(s): Seriously dno...
4. Sexiest Friend: er... dunno?
5. Funniest Friend(s): Also dno?
6. Smartest Friends: Got many larhz
7. Dumbest Person: Me...
8. Shyest Friend: Dno....again?!
9. Most boring person: Noe me, you'll noe...
10. Who Do you Get Advice From?: Family, Papa, Bro's....?
11. Height : 1.73 lidat?
12. D(ate)O(f)B(irth): 1FEb1991
13. Righty / Lefty :Righty!
15. Shoe Size :11/12?!
16. Shoe Brand:New balance
17. Do you Crack any Body Parts:No Sireee!
19. Siblings:1 gor gor
20. Email Addy:jnah1991@hotmail.com/wildboi@gmail.com
21. Boy Friend/Girl Friend: alot ahha
22. Crush:A few...Hahaz
23. Liked a Teacher: Chay?!
25. Ever laughed so hard you've peed in your pants:Nopez, lufter is rare for me...
26. Ate a Tub of Ice Cream:Nopez....Never so crazy
27. Ran Into a Glass Door : Yea...so many...gong me
29. Gone Skinny Dipping : ... in my bathroom. LOL
30. Gotten hit/nearly hit by a car: yars...i v careless
31. Ran into a parked car: nahs
******Girls Fill Out About Guys******
35. Boxers or Briefs:
36. Tall or Short :
37. Does size matter:
38. Six-pack or Muscular Arms:
39. Body or Personality:
40. Ear Pierced or Not :
41. Sporty or Outdoorsy :
42. Good Guy or Bad Guy:
******Guys Fill Out on girls****** ---Leave it to the guys please!
47. G or hipster undies?: Hipster?!
48. Tall or Short : Tall
49. Long Hair or Short : Long
50.Dark or Light Eyes: Dark
51. Light/Dark Hair: Dark
52. Body or Personality: Personality
53. Ears Pierced or Not: Both are fine
55. Good Girl/Bad Girl : Badd'=fun=i like!
56.Hair Up or Down : Up
57. Sporty or Classy: Sporty
58. Chicken or Not Afraid : Not afraid
******Which One is Better******
59. Coke or pepsi: coke
60. K.F.C or Mcdonalds:KFC
61. Cats or Dogs :dogs
62. Coffee or Tea : samesame..depends on mood
63. Eastside or westside:eastside? Air cleaner
64. Vanilla or chocolate:Chocolate!!!!
65. Cake or Cookies:cookies
66. Purple striped Lime socks or white socks:see mood
67. Sunset or Sunrise: sunset
68. Day or Night:night
69. Lights on or off: off
70. Summer or Winter:winter/spring
*****Your favorite******
71. Food: anytin nice
73:Holiay Destination: vienna?!
74. Radio Station : 98fm
75. Place: Home, comfortable, and loved
****** In The Future******
76. Will you believe in God: God. Duh
77. What you want to be when you grow up: doctor
******Random Questions******
78. Define Love: Hrm, unconditional feelings towards someone? Crap larhz
80. Favorite Place To Be Kissed: Erm....park?!
81. Favourite day(s) of the week: Fri
82. Bedtime:12am
83. Who Is Least Likely To Send This Back:dunno
84.Satan or God or atheist: GOD
******More questions:******
85. Do you love someone rite now: i love so many people
86.Do you care about someone: yarrs loads
87. Do you think of someone everyday:duhh many
89. Do you think someone is special in a special way: everyone is special in a special way.
90.finishing time: 10.12

2005-03-09T19:46:00.000-08:00

Woooz! Hahaz think this will be the final design. Looks kewl rite? Hahaz thank u thank u:P Woah seh spent a long tym on it manz...

Today was an okay dae larhz...spent a total of 8 hrs in sch. Hahaz not bad already arhz. Wah now sch hrs are getting so long, wonder what will happen when we go up to upper sec manz.

Okay my marks for now.
1) Maths - 91.7% Yayz
2) Sci - 94% Woohz!
3) History - 78%!! Bleahx!
4) Chinese - 65.6% Boox!! =(

Tis' all i can rmb for now...so lame and lousy...boox. I msut buck up manz!

This wkend is encounter wkend, fee and gang will be going. Frans will be too. Shd be going up on saturday nite to see them all. Hahaz jsut hope Adele wun chase us out.

Today's p.e. was fun larhz, had softball, then lost like shyt. Hahaz if im not wrong the score was 18-1 arhz, which of course we were the 1. Hahaz then screamed like siao too, may lose my voice but hu cares larhz. Twas fun overall.

Having an obsession with Simple Plan recently, see my blog even has their foto and my song is of theirs too..But they seriously are pro larhz. And together with Good Charlotte, they make an oh-so-good 'duet'. Hahaz i tink if not for Gd Charlotte's image i might actualy ahve liked them, cuz their lead singer can really sing.

Boox so thus ends my very eventful dae. Crap me:P

2005-03-07T19:32:00.000-08:00

Wah jsut spent a whooping one hr doing up my new template. Looks cool rite? Hahaz thank u thank u:P

Could afford the tym for this cuz today we were given a half day off, so after going training and coming back home, it was 5, which is quite good already cuz normally on mon i can only make it home after 7 cuz training ends at 6. Sianz hahaz.

Tournament coming soon, super freaked out. But seli says its natural and a person would be a freak is he didn feel nervous. Hahaz Damnit larhz got the same pnts as HL but cuz i lost to him 3:2, he'll be 5th while i'll jsut ahve to settle for a 6th. Sad, but what can i do? Then there are some irritating people who just keep rubbing salt onto my wound. Sigh, the harsh realities of this world. Working world will be worse, but heck for now.

Today i actualy enjoyed comp lesson. Hahaz cuz i made a gd impression on the old hag. Even though its nth to celebrate, but i get extra attention during lessons cuz i noe nuts bout visual basics. Hahahz the trick was jsut to make her THINK that i was good, but in actual fact i didn even noe wad she was toking bout. Hahaz.

Hw Hw Hw...gotta go do hw le..got an online quiz, chinese bk review to do. Though it isn alot, mum nagging like siao. Signing off!

2005-03-05T14:25:00.000-08:00

Ahhaz i tink i got yl abit pissed yest, cuz i told him on friday that i would be gg for training, but i had forgotten that i wasn gonna go, then in e end he went and errr.....Hehez

Yay! Yest went to watch Hitch! It seriously rox larhz. Super farnie! But i tink other than the farnie parts, i was abit bored cuz there were alot of mooosheee stuff that i couldn take. HAhz! But i was feeling very left our larhz, cuz i was e only guy there, among four girls of whom i only speaked to one of them. Then she also had to go tok to the rest marhz, so yea, very left our lorx me....

Am quite saddened as well, cuz among them was one who was deliberately cold towards me...i really wish i could remain friends with her, but yea, just seems impossible. It's not that i dun try, but if i dun get a response, what more can i do? Maybe i'm not trying hard enuf, or else it means that there's really no hope...seriously, i jsut hope that we could be friends...

Forget about that. service was abit boring, tink i almsot fell aslp. Not cuz of anyting, but i jsut felt it was super irrelavant to me...it was about how u can continue to keep your relationship with your spouse going, but the prob is i'm not even married, nor planning to until further notice, so yea. Then in e middle of service, yanliang called me, so i took the opportunity to crap on the fone for a while lorx...Hahaz bad me, but i jsut can;t seem to control it can i?

After service we went to Macs...again. HAhaz then we had to queue for a super long tym cuz everyone was rushing through their food to get to tabernacle...So yea, stupidly i waited until the queue lenghthened till a kee-xiao length before going to order my food. Took quite a while to eat, then jsut as we were gonna prepare to go off for tabernacle, i learnt that Ee Jay didn't allow us to go for it...He gave a few reasons larhz, but i was still abit disappointed...
1) We didn't go for santification, which isn't exactly required, but he felt it was necessary, and we didn have the tym to go cuz it was from mon to fri.
2) We didn't show a genuine interest to wanna go for it, and we had wanted to go for it only cuz fee asked us to.
3) We didn't even noe wad tabernacle was about, and when he gave us the paper to explain about it, we stupidly left it just lying around, and he felt disappointed and slightly pissed.
Yea these are the three main reasons i guess...Was disappointed, but what could i do? Nvm he's our cell leader after all, if he says so, it must be best for us...

So yea we killed tym while waiting for Ee Jay to come back, by sitting on the same dinner table and crapping with our cell mates. It was quite nice larhz, cuz got to really bond with them, but he didn come back, so by ten, we left le lorx...and that was the end of my rather eventful dae filled with emptiness...

2005-03-04T19:33:00.000-08:00

Woah seh am super tired sia~ Jsut returned from school not long ago...after my squash training. Squash is good, it exercised every part of the body, but how long more can my body endure this toture? I must peservere...
Screwed up my maths test today argh! I got a freaking question wrong! I must be damn stupid, how could i even make a mistake for such an ez paper? I must buck up...
Tomorrow, tabernacle! Yoohooz! Pray to the Lord that thru tml's tabernacle i'll be able to strengthen my faith and truly believe in the Lord God. But too bad i missed the sanctification...Was on for five days, mon to fri, but where could i get the time to go? Nvm just hope it's ok...
Tml after tabernacle i'm gonna watch Hitch! Yay ahahz it seriously looks nice larhz, so farnie, no wonder everyone seems to be going to watch it.
Shit i'm a so poor! Today i was left with only two dollars in my wallet after paying for my AMC fees...dn we went to Macs for lunch sumore...In e end had to borrow two bucks from Joel. I hate borrowing money! It's all sh's fault! Owe me money dun wanna pay me back. Dn after training wana buy a drink also din have the money to...
Hw hw hw hw, so much hw, so many things to do, so little tym...

2005-03-03T18:47:00.000-08:00

Yayee! Just found out my science test actually got a 25 and not 24. Hahaz S2pid ms Tsang made a mistake arhz. Wah seh I screwed up today's malay test arhz...my section B i couldn understnad half of it larhz. Then section A also no better....argh. I tink i set my expectations a wee bit high le...cuz today when we were comparing marks e other two were like pissed off abit cuz i wasn really content with my marks...Me and my big mouth again. Tink i'll be better off keeping quiet from now on...
Jw is seriously getting bad...today said a few f word's...Hahaz tink its really quite natural larhz despite me trying so hard not to say it, i just find myself shooting of out during unexpected events...Crap.
And yea! Yayee we got a half dae off on mon! Ahahaz cuz of e 2004 sec four's, hahaz its really gay larhz cuz we get the hols for their hard work. But yea who the hell cares anyway?
Today fufilled one of my goals set yesterday. I refrained from eating lunch yay! Ahahz....very excited bout our batch trip to malaysia, hope i get to stay in e same rm as e ppl i wan...definitely not u-noe-hu and u-noe-hu...Hahaz
Saturday, tabernacle. Hope to achieve a few things while i'm there.
1) Gather enough faith to start praying in tongues.
2) Make me a believer, for now the main reason i'm going to church is for aesthetic purposes and also i'm forced larhz.
3) Just let God do his work in me without any disobedience on mu part.
Thank u Lord, Amen!

2005-03-02T17:16:00.000-08:00

Wah seh stressed arhz. Fri must pass up project dn haven do..sianz....
Argh my maths is seriously going down...got a mere 6.5 for my test....Is it just me slacking off, or are others getting better? On top of that, 31/40, like what kinda score is that for history? My science, ez paper, couldn even score a 25....What crap larhz. My first resolution, start mugging. Despite people calling me one last yr, i nv really did mug. But looks like i have no choice.
Forget it, this tym i'm gonna set my weight goals for the next half a yr.
1. Reduce my weight to my original 55kg.
2. Stop eating lunch.
3. Run more.
4. Eat more veges.
5. Try not to each so much desert.
6. Conquer temptations.
Yeapz my six golden rules for the next half yr. Sory mumeee...

2005-03-01T18:30:00.000-08:00

Can't take it anymore, why do i always have to hide myself and withdraw into my protective cover whenever i meet strangers? No, this should not go on. From now on, i'll try to change....
Today, nothing special. Forgot to sign my chinese paper...again. So got jacked by zmc, he's such a faggort. Hypocritical, exaggerative, and everything bad. But my chinese sucked anyway, so how does he expect me to show it to my parents? Teachers just don't understnad. Ok fine i noe i'm being very childish here but hack.
Why think bout these stuff? Fine i'll set my faith goals for this year.
1. Take a huge step of faith and start praying audibly.
2. Start reading and word and stop procrastinating.
3. Go for second encounter, learn to pray in tongues.
4. Try to encircle my life around God and not just of myself.
..............................................That's i can think of now. I'll take a step at a time. For now, God help me.

2005-02-28T21:55:00.000-08:00

Can hardly keep my eyes open...super tired....
ARgh tml englit test and i'm barely prepared for it, not to say that i feel insecure because i didn mug, but yea mugging is bad. But dno just lost interest in all my studies, which isn exactly gd larhz, so didn pay attention in class as well as last yr, so naturally i'm feeling fidgetty larhz. Damn just found out that didn do an online quiz that closed yest, but hack, more than half the class didn do it anyway. Tink my results gonna plunge this yr, but will start studying harder nearing to mid-yr.
Today, release of o's. RI did pretty well, produced 20 11A1s', more than RGS, hahaz but duzn really concern me larhz. Top two scorers, a pair of twin bros, my gosh their parents must be ecstatic, lucky pipx, will mary a smart woman in future. :D
Bro got a1 for his chinese, felt super happy, and stressed. Seriously he stresses me out alot, keep having pressure of not being able to do as well as him seeing how he studies and his results, secondary pressure applied by my parents who compare me to him alot, cant stand it....
And yea abt my song, its not that im like super vulgar or wadsoeva, but it just seems to apt in describing me....
Melancholic...how true.....

2005-02-26T05:29:00.000-08:00

Hrm i tink for this entree im gona make a list of 8 things that i wanna thank God for.
1. For giving a chem test so ez we got complacent and thus are at risk of getting lotsa careless mistakes.
2. For letting me have such low marks for my chinese i cannot show it to my parents.
3. For choosing me as one of the only four who went to the meteorological station and thus making me super late for my frenly.
4. For letting me lose to a girl due to complacency and ignorance and thus have to endure the ever embarrasing punishment.
5. For letting me have dinner with uncle Ken and family at Suntec and letting me see their cute baby but not letting her play with me.
6. For letting me go for training on Sat and embarrasing myself infront of the sec1.
7. For letting me go to church despite my weariness and boredem whenever in church.
8. For letting me not go to tabernacle briefing and thus not sure of what it even is.
Hrm sory Lord it's not that I hate u and feel like condemning u with all my might, but just as Uncle Stephen opposes, I'm Sick with life, I'm Sick with wadeva that happens, at how people keep commenting and pointing, at my very own attitude. I pray O Lord you'll be able to change all these. Amen.

2005-02-24T21:35:00.000-08:00

Today was a bad BAD dae! When i furst arrived in school, i found out that i hadn got my consent form for jac sim signed! I panicked real bad...yea hahaz so yea, had to resolve to forging my dad's signature. But soon after i found out that one of e guys also did not sign it...so yea didn care less and decided not to give in the consent form and let myself get jacked for e second tym in two daes by jac sim...sucha biatch.
First lesson...history. What was in store for us? A history test, what else. ARgh and i screwed it up real bad...as usual. Hahaz just felt so little confidence after doing it, so yea prayed to GOd after i finished. Surprisingly, i finished almost 10 mins before the tym was up. So yea had to tym to pray after all.
After Hist i had my geog lesson in e LT...Which was when i forged my dad's signature and found out that that guys didn get it signed as well. E s2pid LT was so damn cold larhz my teeth was chattering away the moment i stepped into it. Hahaz and for e geog test....again i screwed up. Or at least i felt i did larhz...again. Was looking at Eugene's answers and i was like 'My God he write so much i write so little...' Hahaz
Hrm third lang was sucky today, not cuz of e lessons, but it was cuz i tink i offended this guys larhz. Well it started out with playfully tapping him with cards and books, then he slowly counted how many tyms i tapped him 'vowing' to pay me bak. Haahz then after that he start hitting me with his fist, throwing my file onto the floor, etc. He really is quite spastic arhz. Tyrannic and vengeful. After that i use my water bottle and sprayed him, not with a jet of water but rather just air, for i didn make contact with the water. Whalao he so stupid one arhz then he took my bottle and sprayed me with water all over my shirt and pants. Got damn pissed larhz, i tink he tot i wouldn retaliate, but yea, im full of surprises. I shot him back with jets of water on his arm. After that he was super SUPER pissed larhz. For the first tym, i didn look forward to recess. When the bell rang, i immediately ran out of the class, and was chased by him. Hahaz i tink i outran him but yea, as a desperate measure i hid myself in the toilet. BAD MISTAKE! He was like there waiting for me for all e seven minutes i was hiding in the toilet...bullshit larhz he. THen after that i could stand it no longer and yea, i opened e door larhz had to face it sooner or later rite. Then he came banging into me and starting grabbing my fingers and twisting it to excruciating pain larhz. I tink if i had not turned serious at that moment my fingers would have been long gone arhz....Crap after that he still remained pissed with me throughout e second half of the lesson. Shyt him larhz it was jus a jet of water rite...
Well and that wasn all to my bad bad dae....when i came back i found out that my mum's hp which was lost in my bro's sch was actually stolen and there was no hope of getting it bak. My first reaction was that of 'What the it's all his fault why did he have to blah blah blah...blah blah larhz.' But soon after i also found out that despite reporting it to the vp, she said that the school was not reponsible for their personal belongings. I was like WTF!!! Okay fine they said that although the students may bring their handfones to school, they would not be responsible for it being stolen. But now the problem is the thief not only stole a handfone, but also another girls handfone AND wallet. Well there isn a rule against bringing a wallet rite...Its really really stupid anw cuz they said that they now allow students to bring their handfones and that it was ok as long as they did not use it in class. But then how can the disciplinary board then make their own rules and randomly check the pockets of the students and even confiscate them if they were found to be in their pockets? WHAT IRONIC CRAP LARHZ! Hrm am super SUPER pissed still with his school, and for the vp's irresponsibility and everything else i'm pissed about in the situation, i feel like writing a letter to her, clearly stating this:
Dear Mrs Yip,

FUCK YOU FOR YOUR IRRESPONSIBILITY, AND FOR EVERYTHING THAT YOU AND THE SCHOOL HAS DONE TO MAKE THIS THEFT POSSIBLE.

Yours sincerely,
Bryan.

2005-02-23T17:16:00.000-08:00

Hrm...today was jsut another long and dreary day of school...
First off we started with history. I guess aguss is ok larhz quite farnie, but abit ap one hahaz he duzn repeat what he says...then get like abit pissed if we asked him too...and his ever famous two phrases 'goooooooooooooood mornin' class!' & 'bois bois dun get sexcited dun get sexcited'. Wahhaz super lame but farnie. Tink i prefer las yr allan soo larhz hes beta. Hahz give more hints for exam too:P
Then was pe, badminton. Pe rox larhz sho sho fun but yea, cuz of e court limitations had very little court tym.
And yea! Did i mention bout my s2pid geog tchr. Haiiissshhhh! Just found out that fri got this frenly at kallang with scgs....then i had prearranged to go to met station for geog! ARgh!!! Then when i went to ask her, she was like, 'What u prmised! You beta show up on fri or else ur gonna get it from me!' Whalao damn ap lorx, whole day pms one, sho wad if she whole dae tell jokes...blerghs.
Hahaz then was maths, kena jacked cuz we were like ten mins late and we were changing in front of her, which she claims is 'very very disrepectful!' Haahz must be infected from her les wincy arhz. Ahaz
Hrm cle was super duper ooomper loooomper boring! E tchr tok sooooo monotonous one....how he expect us to listen? Then at e lesson, got jacked by jac sim e super pmser hu scolded me earlier, saying we were quiet no doubt which is very good, but ur weren listening! But like er...we are at our teenage yrs how do u expect us to keep out attention for such a long tym? She tink she still so young arhz.....
Hrm.....ended off e day with zms lesson.....super lame....super boring....dun wanna relieve it...hahaz. One hr per day is more than enuf thx:P
Okay.....my goal for this yr.....as a 'frank assesment' commonly used in cle....hahaz get 5 gfs by end of next yr:P

2005-02-23T03:38:00.000-08:00

Argh am feeling so exasperated. Was awoken from a well-deserved nap only to find out that my brother had lost my mum's 2 day old hp. Immediately my reaction was like 'who was he showing it off too?'. My dad was even worse, he was like there ranting away e fone cost blah blah, blah blah blah. Yea, as usual. Dinner, the fifteenth day of chinese new yr, supposedly to have a good dinner etc, but we didn enjoy our meal one bit.
When he came back, e first qns we asked, what happened? He was like so reluctant to tell us blah blah. Got me so pissed.Mumy's tolerance level is really superb. 'Could u have dropped it?' 'No! I kept it in my bag the whole day!' 'Could u have accidentally taken it out?' 'No! How could it be? I dun take it out during lesson!' 'Could u have dropped it outside the lib while u were taking your pencil case?' 'No! How could it have dropped out like that?' Argh! And he said that outside of the lib there was a security cam. 'Can you ask to view it?' 'No! Mrs blah blah will scold me, last yr she.....blah....blah!' 'Can you go report it lost?' 'No! Mrs blah blah already ..... she wun be reponsible for the fone! She'll just scold me!' What is this? A fone that cost almost 2 hundred it not as important as not getting scolded? Sheesh! Argh nvm shall pray to God...and hope by His mighty power we might jsut recover the lost....

2005-02-22T02:11:00.000-08:00

Wah..just another long day i had today..by e tym came back was already 6+.
Today there was a cold war between me and senghenk, tink im getting seriously pissed with him...dun wana tok bout these unhappy things larhz. Wah seh super disappointed today arhz, back with my geog results, found out m below class average...
After lessons, went to third lang....again. Actually wanted to quit for along tym coming, but all along has been stopped by my papa and momma. Its just getting too boring for me...and partly its cuz im also abit rebellious larhz. When i asked them if i could quit, my dad flatly disagreed, made me super pissed, but i continued cuz my mum told me why i should con't blah blah larhz. So yea, and e second tym i asked, again i was flatly rejected. Same case.
But when i told them i didn get into e top 5 in e squash team but landed 6th place instead, they in turn got very pissed, which of coz i followed suite. I tink in e fit of anger i told them that it was cuz of third lang larhz so yea, my dad told me that if i really had no interest in continuing then there was no point in making me do so too. But yea, my rebellious nature kicked in...again. Hahaz i guess this gave me the motivation to con't, so yea decided not to quit for am feeling super enthusiastic, again. Wahahz i tink im seriously mad, but heck...
Hrm, realy miss my cuzzins and relatives in malaysia, wish i could stay there forever and avoid the harsh reality in singapore, but i noe that will never be possible...and i noe too that if i had stayed there, i wouldn be as close as i am to them now....sometimes its really ironic, how u can come to logical conclusions of your own, and yet be unable to accept them...God...help me....

2005-02-19T22:14:00.000-08:00

Hrm jsut changed the template of my bloggy...dun really see why some ppl can keep changing their template cuz its realy such a daunting task:P Have been working on it for like 2 hrs le but still only less than halfway done wahahz. Wish there could be someone to help me with it hahaz. Lazy me...
Yest was meee's bdae. Happy bdae marmee! Wahahz haven bought a prezzie yet but dun worry marmee, i will! Wahaz Then as a belated prezie i got an angels and demon bk from them. Woox! Hahz was wanting to read that for a long tym liaoz but like dno where to get from. Ahaz Hrm can someone tell me how i can retain my tagboard when i press e looking back button? Hahaz.
Woox today having dinner at me hse with adele, papa and richard then mumy cooked oxtail. Yay! Hope they come more often then can eat more:P Ahahz okok g2g study for my lame tests le..hrm sianz. Well for now, I'm out.

2005-02-06T06:17:00.000-08:00

Hrm i have decided to remove that last post as i have found it a little overboard. Sorry Jev...

Valerie....have a good time reading...:P(this post is not of all facts)

2005-01-29T20:10:00.000-08:00

VALERIE! Hehehz this post is dedicated to u...Jsut a short one though:P
Ok, this is to tok about vals dare....and wad was her dare? Nth too bad..just a lite and comfortable and sensual massage on little cute jevon's shoulders...hehez...actualy i wanted her to like..go lower and lower and lower larhz. But i didn wanna like sabo jevon too much larhz.. hehez. So yea and jevon was looking like he was in seventh heaven...hehez seven minutes in heaven. Ahahahaz I tink val shd be ashamed of herself..got ivan le still flirt so much ahahahz. And she was like oh i need to get a tan! ahahaz then she put her hands up like a zombie...hehez wad a degradation for all zombies ahahz.
Ok thats all, this is suppsoed to be a short post after all rite? hehz.

2005-01-29T19:50:00.000-08:00

Aiyoo i dun believe i could have forgotten bling's bdae...Sry bling!!! Aahaz Nvm i give u ur belated prezie on sat larhz hehez. Yest was great, twas jaspers baptism...Even his non-believing mum came along. I tink EJ prayed for her baptism, but i guess she will need some time larhz.
Ok...For dinner! Guess wad i had? Tauhuay with longan! Hahaz But it tasted quite disgusting lahrz pukez! Then had fellowship blah blah...
Actualy wad was nice wasn during church but before church ahhaz. In e morning went for training, which is quite dumb since now they're having a 5-day-work week rite but yea nvm larhz. But e ting was, only 6 ppl turned up. So yea we had all the limelite from coach! AHAHAZ. Budden not very good alos larhz then he ask us train train train until my hands so SO tired..And to make sure we dun slack he sat at that umpire chair constantly ranting at us. ahahz.
Then after that i quikly rushed home cuz was going swimming with some friends. But yea, as usual i was late larhz hahaz. But! BUT! This tym got excuse larhz:P Cuz mum wanted me to eat lunch then yea u noe i eat very slow one larhz. Hehez then made poor jev wait for so long ahahz.
Then we took a bus to jesc, where e gals were already wating for us. By e time we got in and changed, i tink it was already 2.30 arhz ahhaz. OK, then we set off on this great mission to find e gals! It was truly a difficult task larhz we went from e pool to lazy river to wave pool to every place we tot they would be! But...we still couldn find them....then finally when we almsot gave up hope, we found them at e end of e pool...where we had started looking...ahhaz yea then play play play in e water, which was super duper boring.. finaly before we left we tot we would play a game of guess e number larhz. So yea and i was e first to zong i tink hahaz then had to act super ego and say i very shuai ahahaz. But poor ole jev...he is a flirt in e making by me! ahahz made him do some very nice stuff to e gals...hehez. Then yea had to go le cuz was in a rush to go for church, but before that i couldn resist e temptations of having a bite larhz so went to kfc/pizza hut to eat. Ordered a lasagne cuz i tot it would be premade larhz, but i was wrong..again. E person told me nid at least 15 mins to prepare...and it was already 4.35~! Hahaz then in e end pack lorz, but was still late for church larhz.. hahaz and poor jev was left with three gals, but i tink he enjoyed it prety much:P

2005-01-25T01:07:00.000-08:00

I'm beginning to feel myself slacking off bit by bit...i tink the 'me' of last yr would hav started studying slightly harder by this time already, but hack anyway, hu wants to blog bout sch anyway.
I tink im feeling abit guilty..cuz nv go third lang today..hahaz notti me. But aiya i would have long quit if not for my parents 'persuasion'. Yea...
Seriously, i've taken an unexpected liking to chemistry suddenly. Just find it so nice yea hahaz. Today was so nice lorx, we had our very first good and fun and proper experiment(from wad i tink larhz). Hahaz it was very very fun, especially when wincy gave me a few pieces of dry ice, then they started biting against my hands, hahaz it was pain yet fun. Am i sadistic? Dun tink so larhz:P
PE now rox man we're doing badminton. I'm starting to tink that ri isn that bad after all. Now that im geting used to my clasmates and stuff, im even beginnin to enjoy myself...surprisingly...
I tink tml will be fun, cuz got pe, hahaz hope i get to play with mingzhe cuz hes slightly beta than me hahaz. Yay! tml Gg sh hse then he promised me to cook for me hehez. I tink im geting worse than a peeg, ever since my sudden obsession with eating ever since e hols, i've been tinking non stop abt food, though sometimes wanting to skip my meals, i jsut find it very very hard to. So ya...MUMMY! U got ur entreee!

2005-01-08T18:51:00.000-08:00

Friday was a super tiring day manz! Okay, we went to school as usual, had our flag raising, but after that the fun part came...we were going to east coast park! Hahaz well it was supposed to be a beach cleanup larhz, but there was going to be a picnic after that so yea, it wasn that bad after all. We had our very own bus chartered for us, Muhahaz! E GEPers had to share buses cuz their classes were so small, finally WE get the good things. On the bus we played truth or dare, but it was rather dry, so we gave up halfway and start yakking away.
It was about 9.30 by the time we reached there and started proper. I won't elaborate on how we picked up e rubbish, but yea, it wasn that bad hahaz. After we finished, it was a long walk all the way back to where our year head was. Shucks of all places she HAD to pick that place which was an almost two kilometre walk from us! Okay...so we walked and walked and walked...until we finally reached where she was, which is standing on top of a bench yelling at the top of her voice in a loud hailer. Wahahz and when we told her she was going to be our teacher for geography she was like 'ALAMAK!' Aahahz! Are we that bad? Hahaz no larh i dun tink so, we're just erm, interactive:D Wahahz.
So, it was 10.30 when we reached her, and she said, ' Okay boys, you can do anything you like..s'long as u come back by 12.15' Wah seh! This was the first ever person, not to mention a teacher, who gave us such freedom! And to think east coast park was so big! Okay..for the first time..it rox to be in ri. Hhaz
So the very first thing i did, was to go to our 'class table', where all the food was displayed, and ate half my fill. Hahaz there were quite alot of stuff there, sushi, drinks, potato chips, etc. Hahaz it tasted so great. Then we went to a bike shop, intending to rent a bike, but changed my mind and left it hahz. Then we walked ever so far..again...to a friends paps restaurant, called the singa inn, where i was beggin him to give me some food cuz i was still rather hungry, but in the end we only got drinks, so yea was quite disappointed. But hey, e drinks were free:P. hahaz Well to tink that could take up such a long tym, but yea it did. Hahz i tink we arrived bak to where our year head was at about 12. Then i was asked to go see what our artistic fren had created, none other than a sand sculpture...of a very lifelike nude woman. Shucks it was so disgusting. Hahaz i tink from now on im gonna hve a very different impression of e teachers in my school. The first teacher who passed by e sculpture, laughed! And you noe hu he was? He was none other than our assn prefect master! Sia lah! What is this world coming to. And e next teacher who saw it, also laughed! But yea that wasn to abnormal cuz he was a super funny maths teacher! Shucks why didn i get him! Haish nvm larhz. Yea he was very nice. Then after that he asked us to play this dunno wad game, where e loser would have to get a forfeit. And yea larhz naturally he won. Hahz and he was like asking that guy to take off his shorts as forfeit! Ahahz and he also said, ' Oh yea and i forgot to mention e teacher doesn have to do the forfeit even if he loses. Then we were like wad de... ahahaz. Yea so that was the end of our most eventful morning!
We had e raffles trail in e afternoon and nite, but yea that was quite boring so wun elaborate about it. Jsut that cuz of it i didn hve a proper meal from morning 6am until about 8pm that nite. Hahaz and came back aching all over. SIA LAH!

2005-01-04T02:36:00.000-08:00

Guess how i started by very first day of the week? Well, it was nothing GREAT?! E bus was super late, and by e tym we reached school, it was already..7.35~! God! And guess who we were greeted by? 2 bleeding prefects, well i never got booked by a prefect b4, as far as i noe, so yea, naturally felt rather freaky, hahaz but u noe larhz, e whole bus was late rite? E look on on his face was so damn farnEE! AHahaz then he just say 'aiya okok larhz go go go!' Ahahaz! It was such a great feeling~ Like thrilling yet fweaky hahaz.
Yay! Found out yesterday we gonna hve NO lesson this whole week~! WOOHOOS~! Ahahaz yesterday...first day of school...duh ahahz, twas super dull arhz, aiya wad can u expect of school? Same old status quo stuff larhz. Got talk by our new hm, he's supposed to be young and good larhz, but dunno, wad can u expect of a hm larhzz~~ ahahz. Then got class interaction, and SH*T! Got that arse of a zhang mei mei again! WTF. Hahaz nvm larhz actually he's nt that bad, dunno jsut hate him. Hahaz super biased BRYAN NAH! HAhaz crap then got talk by yr head, dpd blah ahhaz super sianz arhz felt like dozing off most of e time but yea, she was rite there, so cant, yea. ahahz then got class bonding, poor nabil manz, tried to get our class to cooperate, but wad can u expect will come out? It 2G AFTER ALL?? Ahahahz so yea, that marked the end of e first day in school, sounds boring? Well, right-o ur clever!
Well e second day was none too betta, we had a course from 8-1, so yea, super dull and sianz, felt like slping so many times. Ahahaz but e instructor was quite nice, we talked to her during recess and after class. Hahaz shes quite pitiful actualy, cuz she couldn get e attention of e class, yea so i guess...my first job idea...teaching....NAH!

2004-12-27T21:29:00.000-08:00

Wah am seriously aching all over my body. Yest super extreme ahz. Morn went to squash for 3 hours, although that wasn super taxing, but after that in e evening, we went to the gym...and i worked out...again! But i felt quite satisfied, cuz wanna lose weight, and i ran 2.8 km, which was i tink more than i ran during dec combined. Hahaz then there we met this nice instructor who didn treat us like little kiddys playing around. And he taught us how to do a proper push up. Yay! I could do er..3:P But still betta than nothing rite? Hehez hai i missed e days earlier in this year when i could do chin-ups, but now i dunno why jsut can't do more than 1! Alamakz hahaz
Sho happy arhz m finishing up me hw quite nicely, something alot of ppl cant accomplish:P We're all great big fat procrastinators! Ahahaz ok will stop being lame already and get back to work. Sianzz....

2004-12-27T05:48:00.000-08:00

Last year, there was me, having a super domineering attitude. Making fun of people was my hobby, because i really thought it was quite cool to have people look up to you. But whenever i thought to myself, i found myself ever questioning myself, 'Am i happy?' And i found my life very miserable.
Thus i tried to make a fresh start - that is to try and be nicer lahz hahz. But i found myself, yet again, very unhappy. My determination to be 'nicer' totally changed my attitude, i became not so fun-loving as before, or more so, my perspective of fun changed a whole lot.
As i had said, my view of fun was terrorizing my 'friends' in primary school. But i felt very miserable. I became very very unpopular, and almost notorious. This year i tried to change to be more gentle, but got accuse of being a gay and sissy instead. Why is this world so demanding?
But i guess my obsession with becoming more gentle also changed alot of my likes. From liking blue, detesting people who smoke, who pierce earholes, who keep long hair, i changed so much that i started to like pink as well - a colour i had always disliked in primary school, and also to liking all the above except smoking lahz as i thought they were very cool.
Most importantly, my perspective of girls changed a whole lot. From the girl-hater in primary school, i turned to become very very desperate. And though i may not show it, i really do yearn for someone to be there for me when i feel down, to console me and just simply be there for me, or to share my joy and such. Hahaz i guess when Mrs Chay said people who hated girls in primary school would be the first to like one in future, it really does happen eh?
I really don't know if these changes would really change the original me, and i really hope not. But all these things i do, its all to gain acceptance. However i just can't feel anyone's true friendship, nor love from anyone outside of my family. Why is this world like that? Are we all really that selfish and self-centred? I will try my best not to be, but if i can't, i can't help it. But please, do try...

2004-12-26T05:12:00.000-08:00

It is quite ironic, how two feelings of total difference can be experienced at the same time. Jealousy for a person, yet getting pissed at almost every action made by that person.
Well i guess pride plays a very big role is this. See your 'buay song' face at most of my actions may have caused the feeling of irritation. Yet why, why does it hurt so much for me to see you in his arms.
Well, i think i may be asking of too much, but he was everything i always wished myself to be. Handsome, witty, fun-loving, someone to simply tiff with for fun. But i guess what he has that i admire the most, is his great way around with girls. Hahaz i guess it's all the doings of my desperate nature, but i really do love his features. Hahaz i'm not gay, just what you may call flirtatious ;).
Well now, i really do wish i could patch up with you, and get as close as i could get to you as i felt i could do in the past, but it just seems impossible. Whenever i try to talk to you, you either brush me off, or you make snide remarks. Well if it's just because of a simple misunderstanding, i really wish i can clear it. But yet again, if you don't let me do it, there's nothing i can do about it. I'm really afraid, afraid to lose a great friend in you, one i saw just now long ago.
Well what is this? Me pouring out my heart for the world to see? Well, this is rather unlike me, i guess i should stop doing this already, but anyway, you whom i speak, if you do read this, i do hope...we can, and will remain as friends...i pray...